Day 45

OMG... I was suffering from a major case of Wii-itis today.  My right arm was hurting so bad and I couldn't figure out why... then it hit me.  The massive amounts of dancing I did as a form of exercise.  Hey, no pain, no gain right?!?

Also had a wonderful chat with my coworker Maria.  I opened up to her about how hard this past year has been for me and how I only realized recently how bad I was treating myself.  She is a wonderful and thoughtful person who has helped me immensely.  I am very grateful that Maria and so many other people have come into my life in the past year.  Without them, I don't believe I would be where I am today. 

On a separate note... I am astounded at how much weight I have lost since last year.  It actually occured to me this morning while I played my "Biggest Loser" game on the Wii.  When I started that game 2 years ago... I was an insane 170 pounds!  I almost hit the ceiling.  I guess you never realize how big you are until it is there in black and weight.  Around this time last year, I was at least better.  Averaging around 157 pounds on my good days.  I was never happy with my weight, but it wasn't like I didn't try to drop the weight.  Diets galore, eating heatlhy, cutting portions, exercising daily... I did it all.  The best I could get down though was to 148, but I always boomeranged back up.

I guess I could say I was okay with my weight, never happy.  But being happy in a relationship and my job made me not care.  I always had someone to tell me I was beautiful, even on my worst days.  Deep down though, I always felt like a failure.

Back in September, I had a major event happen to me.  The stress overwhelmed me.  It caused me to physically get sick.  I couldn't eat, got sick when I tried, had no appetite to even want food.  It was really bad.  Thankfully, I am getting better.  The experience... almost life changing.  Also why I started this life-changing journal.  Since being sick though, I have lost all my weight.  My petite figure now down to a healthy 133 pounds.  Though I didn't lose it in the healthiest of ways (to no fault of my own), I want to make one of my goals through this journey into appreciating myself be to take care of myself in the healthiest of ways.  I plan on getting at least 20 minutes of exercise in a day.  Just getting out of the house, even just up off the couch, SOMETHING!  Even if I don't want to leave the couch, I will use my hand weights to work my arms. 

I want to be the best Alicia I can be... healthier, happier, more proud of the woman I am and all I know I can be.





Before - Karaoke 2012



Before - August 2012

After - February 2013