The Journey Begins

After days of celebrating birthdays and having fun with the family, I headed out last night for the AFSP 2015 Advocacy Forum in DC. At the time I got my plane ticket though, I was still living in Boston with no plan of heading home. So to reduce any stress on me, I decided to spend the night in Boston instead of jumping planes early in the morning to get to DC from Detroit, but it wasn't all smooth sailing.

As I was packing up yesterday morning, one of the dresses I planned to wear failed to get properly cleaned by the dry cleaners early that week. I mean bad! It still had all the coffee stains, and they failed to even clean off the solutions they used on only ONE spot they attempted to clean. Luckily for me though, mom and dad use to run a dry cleaners. Mom was able to get it all out just in our washer before we had to leave. Thank God!!

I was also extremely lucky that my mom allowed me to borrow a ring of my grandma's for the trip. I wanted to have a bit of her with me as I was at the Forum, and especially for the Overnight night Saturday. It truly means a lot to have this little treasure. It was a ring she had specially made with all the stones from the rings my grandpa Milo had ever given to her. Not only is it beautiful, it's just meaningful to have something of hers with me as I head out on this big adventure.

So with everything all set luggage wise, off to the airport we went where it just got more fun. Knock on wood, I never have problems at Detroit Metro. However due to a failure on my part, I got searched. Basically I forgot about my Fitbit attached to my bra, so off course the full body scan picked up the hidden device. Luckily the woman realized it fast and I got to go on my way.

Then the actual plane ride was a treat. The guy next to me decided to take up all the armrest, including my control for the TV... lame. He also continued to bump his elbow into me the entire trip. Honestly, we was tinier than me, and his wife was in the seat next to him, so it was a little irritating he felt the need to take up so much space.

There was also no chance of sleep thanks to my neighbor, and the fact my seat failed to recline. Oh there was also that thing with the turbulence! It wasn't so bad, but already not feeling comfy or being able to sleep made the tension worse. UGH!

Then there was the bathroom incident. The captain came over saying we would soon be hitting another patch of turbulence as we were descending to Boston, so I decided to run to the bathroom. I decided to head to the back of the plane where I saw only bathroom was occupied. So I am booking it to make sure I'm not gonna go flying on the toilet... get there, open the door... yeah, man peeing. He failed to lock the door triggering the occupied light. I quickly slammed it shut, turned to a flight attendant, and just laughed. Seriously, what else could happen!?!?

All that aside, the turbulence down wasn't too bad upon landing. But we all received a good laugh from a little girl onboard. As the plane was taxiing for takeoff in Detroit, she proudly announced to everyone we were already flying. Adorbs! But it was when we landed she was even cuter. As soon as the wheels hit the runway, she screamed out with glee "We landed everybody!!!" The whole plane laughed and it was just such a wonderful ending to the uncomfortable ride.

Now here at my hotel. I'm enjoying the time I get to relax and study up a bit more for the forum in DC. The bed was comfy, the view insane as I splurged for a view of the city. So as I sit here with my coffee, I'm enjoying Boston from afar as the clouds and rain roll through the city I love. Don't worry Boston, I get to see it again in less than a week.

On to the next... here I come DC!!

Open Book

Let's get back to the beginning with what this blog was meant for.... a happy thing a day. (Thanks Yia Yia!)

Today's first two joys happened at work this morning.

Joy #1: I have been feeling bad about my new job lately. Now don't get me wrong... I love my coworkers and am so glad to be producing on a regular schedule. However I'm just not getting to a speed where I can get everything done before my shows go on.

So this morning (okay morning for me, 7p for the rest of you) I woke up early  to look up stories both locally and abroad to get a head start. But news is news... and of course there was a terrible shooting in South Carolina and a manhunt so things just didn't go as I hoped. Even through the craziness, I got my show on air, and it was really good and my anchors were great with all the new information coming in. I couldn't have been prouder.

And my new coworkers are just like my team back in Boston. We have each others backs; helping with stories, suggestions, everything needed to help get a show up and running smoothly. It felt really good especially with the breaking news to hear us all hollering around the newsroom all the new details or what we had done so someone else didn't have to waste their time doing it again. That's what I love about news. When I was young I never did, but I guess I just didn't have the right people on my time.

Joy #2: As I was getting ready to leave today, I remembered I hadn't taken my second does of Welbutrin for the day. My coworker Wendy spotted me popping my pill and made a joke about it being the "happy" kind. I sure as hell didn't deny it! So her and I got to chatting a bit about our "happy" pills, and when I told her I was also on Prozac it shocked her a bit. So I came out and told her it was because of my suicidal ideations. I told her how what I experienced that led me to this actually was the best thing that could've happened for me. I'm now an advocate, a voice for those too afraid to talk.

Now you're probably thinking, "Damn you only have been working there a month! Why tell something so intimate like that?" It all goes back to a clip I watched yesterday on the AFSP's YouTube page. It was a panel from a recent convention. The panel of three was there to talk about their "Lived Experience." The story of how they attempted suicide, but survived. The main thing I took away from it was that talking not only helps me, but helps others. Even my mom fundraising at her job for my upcoming walk told me how everyday someone would come up to her and say how my story hit them, then they'd tell her how suicide and/or mental illness impacted their life.

I chose to be an advocate for AFSP because I want to tell my story. Tell someone going through this same situation that they are not alone. That they are not weak, but strong for being. That's why I told her, and the conversation that came from it with her was wonderful.

The final joy of the day almost wasn't. Today, I sucked it up and got on the treadmill for the 4th day in a row! In fact, I'm on it right now typing this up.

I decided on Tuesday to take an old shelf and turn my parents' treadmill into a walking desk. I've been able to watch AFSP videos and study up for this coming week when I'm in DC advocating with lawmakers.

Have to say, I'm pretty damn proud of myself. Hopefully this hill continues upward, and now I don't have an excuse to not blog.

Far Too Long...

I am back and extremely sorry for the insane delay between posts! Swear to you though, there was good reason.

Back in May, I was hired as a Morning Producer for WTOL in Toledo. Yep, that meant I got to go back home and be with the family!!!

My emotions were very mixed though.Yes, I was going to be back in Michigan, close to family. However that of course meant I had to leave WFXT, my Fox Family, The Commune and my most cherished of friends.

In the end, I knew this had to be done though. A major part of my depression was not being near family. The stress of trying to work out times to see them, missing pretty much every holiday and birthday; it was really wearing down on me.

So here I am, back at home and doing remarkably well.

The new job is great! My coworkers are insanely nice and brilliant. It is quite a change for me though. In smaller markets, there is a lot more the producer needs to do. Basically everything from producing to writing to researching on our own. It's quite a lot. I have done each of this jobs before both in Detroit and Boston, but never all at once in such a capacity. Though it is overwhelming at times, I am extremely grateful to have wonderful coworkers who all work as a team and we all help each other out.

It is also quite exciting to find out that my new health insurance is very helpful when it comes to my therapy and medications. All my psychological care is COMPLETELY covered with this group. That alone was such a relief I wanted to cry when I found out. In Boston, I was paying $40 a visit for up to 4 visits a month between my two doctors, not to mention the $100+ I had to pay monthly for all my meds. They understand that sucking my bank account dry does NOT help with anxiety and depression right?!? So yeah, can't wait for that to kick in, but finding myself a new therapist who I click with is gonna take a bit, and my insurance doesn't kick in til July. So fingers crossed I don' have to go too long before finding a good match.

On top of all that, I am 1 week... yes 1 WEEK away from going to Washington DC with the AFSP to speak to lawmakers about our mission. I am so grateful for this experience and can't wait to get my story out.

Then right after that... BACK TO BOSTON BABY!!! So happy to get to see my friends again and participate in the Overnight. I am also so thankful for all my friends who have asked if they could walk with us, even though they didn't sign up. They just want to be there with me and support this cause that is so dear to my heart. I am truly so lucky to have all these amazing people in my life.

So as you can see... so far, so good! My next mission here in Michigan is to find my own place, which has actually been quite fun. With the cost of living so low here, I am actually looking at homes rather than an apartment. A real place to call my own, to decorate, to demolish, to rebuild, to grow in. I've decided to stay here in Milan near my family. It's less than an hour from my new job, and obviously an area I love. I feel it will work out wonderfully.

So once again, many apologies for not writing sooner. So many times I would sit and want to write, but this new schedule has been difficult to get use to, but I'll manage. And I promise to get back to writing more often.  :)