The Beginning of The Rest of Your Life

Ok, so I am falling behind on my posts.  Though I can't remember the day to day happiness from the previous days, I just know I am thankful for everyday I am here.

Too many times have I looked down on myself over the years, but now that's all behind.  Granted you get your one shit day here and there, but my self-esteem is over the moon.  Guess it is where it should have always been.  For far too long I looked down on myself.  Not ever understanding why people thought I was beautiful, smart, pretty, strong... because I simply did not feel it.  Now I see myself in a whole new light.  Though it took my actions to a major downfall to bring this all to light in my own eyes, it's at least there now.

As of this week, I no longer am required monthly visits to my belly doctor.  I am maintaining weight, eating well and most importantly... happy with normal levels of stress.  I can mentally and physically feel a change.

One crazy thing that I have noticed, I am listening to music again.  Not that I have fallen out of love with my NPR... but I want to sing.  I want to dance, which I quite often do like a fool around my house.  I started to avoid music because I felt every song, every lyric held reminders of my past.  All the saddest songs spoke to me and I just couldn't handle it.  Now though, it's not that way.  I only hear the happiness.

This song below is one I have been playing on repeat.  It speaks to my experience down the "rabbit hole" and how I am walking away from it.

With our eyes wide open, we...

With our eyes wide open, we...

So this is the end of the story,

Everything we had, everything we did,

Is buried in dust,

And this dust is all that's left of us.

But only a few ever worried.

Well the signs were clear, they had no idea.

You just get used to living in fear,

Or give up when you can't even picture your future.

We walk the plank with our eyes wide open.

We walk the plank with our eyes wide open, we...

(Walk the plank with our eyes wide open, we...)

Yeah, we walk the plank with our eyes wide open, we...

(Walk the plank with our eyes wide open.)

Some people offered up answers.

We made out like we heard, they were only words.

They didn't add up to a change in the way we were living,

And the saddest thing is all of it could have been avoided.

But it was like to stop consuming's to stop being human,

And why would I make a change if you won't?

We're all in the same boat, staying afloat for the moment.

We walk the plank with our eyes wide open, we...

(Walk the plank with our eyes wide open, we...)

Yeah we walk the plank with our eyes wide open, we...

(Walk the plank with our eyes wide open.)

We walk the plank with our eyes wide open,

We walk the plank with our eyes wide open,

We walk the plank with our eyes wide open, we...

With our eyes wide open, we walk the plank, we walk the plank.

With our eyes wide open, we walk the plank, we walk the plank, we walk the plank.

With our eyes wide open, we walk the plank, we walk the plank.

That was the end of the story.

Day 80

Though I was completely exhausted from the night before, today was still amazing.  I dragged myself out of the house to enjoy a fabulous lunch with my coworkers. 

Now I have been looking forward to this lunch with good reason.  Our wonderful anchor Maria invited us nightside writers out to lunch with our Executive Producer Kimmy to say "thank you" for all the hard work we put in daily.

She invited us out to Legal Seafoods right across from work for our special luncheon.  Cannot even begin to tell you how insanely good the food was.  Hawaiian-Style Tuna Sashima, Sriacha Popcorn Shrimp with Kettle Corn.  And oh my the desserts!  We were given 5 desserts to try by the chef... one of them brand new and we were the first to enjoy it!  It was an Ice Cream Layered Smore.  My oh my delightful!  On top of the Chocolate Lava Cake and the Bread Pudding!!  Mmmmm!

Though the food was amazing, it was the fun we all had talking about our backgrounds in the news industry that made it wonderful.  Maria and Kimmy gave us tips and told us about what they had to go through, the changes that have happened at work.  And of course we all just "shot the shit" about ourselves. 

I say this quite often, but it never falters in how true a statement it is... I love my coworkers.  I am truly blessed to work with some of the most talented people in the business.  Both in front of the camera and behind.  So happy that life led me here to Boston and to Fox 25.

Day 79

One phrase... YOLO.

Ok, when this first hit the airways/main stream, I hated it.  Don't get me wrong, I still do.  If you think of it though, it's kind of a good way to look at life. 

The only reason I bring this up is because a fellow coworker has been saying it to me a lot lately.  It's kind of a running joke now since he knows I hate it.  However, it kind of fits with how I am trying to evolve you might say.

All my life I have been fearful.  Scared of what others thought of me.  Scared of failing.  Scared of being hurt.  Well guess what.  It's life.  You will have people talk shit about you.  You will fail at something... maybe more than one thing.  You will be hurt.  Hurt by friends.  Hurt by people you love.  But you can't let that stop you from living life.  Life continues through the pain, but it's what you learn and how you grow from those experiences that guide us through the journey. 

Starting today, I am deciding to look at life in YOLO style.  I only live once.  I will not hide away from what I fear because then I am letting my fear win.  I will take chances, and so far, those chances  have led to spectacular experiences!

So thank you "YOLO" for pushing me to take chances.  I think things are getting brighter already. 

Days 69-78

"Turkey leg! Turkey, turkey leg!!"  (Imagine a dance with this song and that's how I reacted when I bought it)

Ok blog readers... I have completely been shirking my duties.  Yes, I am supposed to be writing one blog a day to say what made me smile.  Honestly though, it is starting to get harder as my life continues to bring me amazing opportunities at work, at home and abroad with my fantabulous friends.  So in short... I am extremely happy!!

"Make a Strip" Panel... Yep, that's double-sided dildo

Most recently, I got to go to PAX East right here in Boston.  For those of you not familiar, it is one of the largest gaming conventions on the east coast.  Video games, computer games, board games... ALL IN THE BOSTON CONVENTION CENTER!  I had written about it last year for work and knew I couldn't miss it the next year. 

Pew pewz!!

I only purchased a ticket for Saturday, for holy wow!!  There was so much stuff that I now know next year... I'm buying that 3-day pass!  There were so many awesome panels and too many booths to hit up in the 15-hours I got to spend there.  The best part was that a few friends had also bought passes for Saturday so I had a great group to go with... especially as we were able to split up and go to different panels or see different things as the others went about to other activities. 
Plus, over the past 9 days I have made new friends, expanded on previous relationships and found myself more! 

Playing "Spaceteam" and loving it!

Nerding out!

These past few months have been quite the journey. Falling down that "rabbit hole" really made me realize a lot of things.  I can admit this was one of the hardest ordeals I have gone through in my 28 years, but it has been the most beneficial as well.  I am extremely happy, back to good health and feeling the best I have in as long as I can remember.



One of the most important things I have learned is I have an insane support system.  My friends, family, coworkers... before I use to hide things from them, but knowing they are there for me has made me open up more.  I don't just mean feelings either, I feel I can be the true me.  I am no longer the girl I was before.  I am a woman, and a damn amazing one... and she is no longer in hiding from the world around her.

Day 68

Hello lazy weekend!

Nothing better than not having to deal with an alarm clock.  Today I slept in til 1:30p.  Not only that, the cat and I didn't get off the couch til 3:30p.  I probably would've stayed there all day with him if it weren't for my dire need for coffee. 

I finally decided that it was time to get up and get to work.  I had no other plans that to just clean the house top to bottom today.  That was a successful mission!  I have been trying to keep up with keeping the house tidy and not letting myself ignore dishes and such lately.  That truly helped!  So on this day... I did laundry, finished up the dishes, dusted, vaccuumed and mopped.  WOW!  It may seem like a horrible way to spend the start of your weekend, but I find cleaning to be such a soothing activity.  More importantly, I didn't stress myself out by rushing to get it all done.  I made sure I took my time, sat down for short breaks and just took the day slowly.  It was fantastic and I felt great in my gorgeous and clean apartment.

With the fresh smells of Lemon Pledge in the air.  I decided to catch up on a show I haven't watched in forever... ARCHER!!  Love that crazy moron.  And thankfully, Netflix had just added Season 3 to their queue.  I watched the entire season throughout the night, all while enjoying the company of my little kie-kie! 

So see, I got stuff done... all without leaving the house, or getting out of my pajamas.  Can we say #winning!?!

Day 67

Two things... totally unrelated.  Disney and tabernacles.  Here is why those two things made me happy.

First we will start with Disney.  Fellow Writer Leeza and I like to find funny things and send them to each other.  Well what am I saying... we ALL do that here!  I am infamous for sending around videos of kittens and puppies.  Do you really blame me?  Anyhoo, Leeza stumbled upon a hilarious video that a young man did about the Disney Princesses and their "Happily Ever After."  The video pokes fun at each princess and how in the real world... dreams really don't come true.   I was in tears at my desk from watching this video.  It was hilarious and this kid is a true musical genius.

Now for tabernacle.  We had a story tonight at work that involved a theft at a church of several precious items, including a gold tabernacle.  So first, none of us knew what a tabernacle was.  We all knew it was something religious, but the actual purpose of it was a mystery to all.  So Assign Guy Bill looked it up for us.  The exact definition is: an ornamental receptacle for the reserved Eucharist, now generally found on the altar. Well, so obviously we don't take much seriously and all starting phrasing this definition in our own terms.  Mine:  a box to put God.  So of course, I started loudly singing "One. You put God in a box. Two. You send praise to the box!"  That's about as far as I was able to get before I started laughing and couldn't stop.  My coworkers also found it to be quite amusing.  I think anything that you can sing to the tune of Dick in a Box will be an instant success... tonight I proved that right!

Day 66

The new pope has been chosen!  Crazy to think something religious would make my something good list. Eh?!

It's not that I was following this for my own good or because I cared, but you have to admit, it is truly a fascinating ordeal.  Also working in news makes it more entertaining. 

Upon coming in to work today, the whole newsroom was abuzz... waiting to see who would step out on to the balcony overlooking the thousands of people in St. Peter's Square.  TV's all over the studio were tuned in to the live announcement.  Everyone with their eyes pealed on those white curtains... waiting for the next pontiff to come out.  Then when Pope Francis made his first appearance... all of us started shuffling about trying to figure out who he was, what he supported, what was he against, why would the College of Cardinals pick him? 

It is a ton of fun in news when big events like this happen.  There is an energy that fills the air that makes you feel proud to be in this field.  You know things before they happen.  You dig deeper into stories and hope what you report helps people have a better understanding of a situation.  My job is amazing.  I am very glad I picked news.

Day 65

Very packed day filled with fun and happiness!

Today I got to go shopping with my mom.  Well okay, maybe not shopping like you would think.  Here's what happened. 

I hit up Target to see about purchasing a dress I had fallen in love with the day before.  Lucky me, it was there and in my size!  As well as several other apparel items that I just had to try on.  Now my mom is a fashionista.  She loves clothes and has great style.  Granted I never listened to her for the first half of my life because I was a very "Plain Jane," but now our styles click and she is one excited momma!  So as I was trying things out, I continuously took photos on my phone and sent them to her for her opinion.  It was such a blast!  Got to love smartphones for helping keep loved ones so close even though they live so far away.  Love you momma!

So besides having fun "shopping" with her.  I also enjoyed how well everything I tried on fit me.  I dropped 30 lbs this year so it was such a shock for me to fit into such itty bitty sizes, and for almost everything to look fab on me!  I am completely not use to that at all!  Typically when I would shop, I would sometimes get lucky and find one thing that fit me nicely.  To be able to go shopping now and have to actually limit myself was insane!  Very pleasurable though and highly mood-boosting. 

Then on to the work day.  Remember the Chocolate Rain video that went viral years ago?  Well Producer Aly did... and tried to get a laugh out of Kevin by singing it to him because of the rain we were getting.  However, KLem didn't know of it!  He had never heard it!  WHAT?!?  Needless to say, Aly sent it his way... and of course, it spread like wildfire through the newsroom.  We were all cracking up at the nostalgia we were all experienceing from hearing it again... but then also the entertainment it was giving Kevin who had only just heard the awesomeness.

Also at work, got my speaking role debut handed to me from a newscast Maria pulled me in on the week prior.  Our tech guy "Brain" made it into a couple video files for me.  Mom was so happy to see them, and of course I was embarassed.  I didn't look like an idiot or anything, but who likes to see themselves on tape?  Not many people, and I'm one of them.  Lol. 

Then it was Tuesday Brews with my coworkers.  It was also extremely more fun as we were celebrating Siobhan's birthday!  Happy 24th to an awesome chica!  Just for the lulz I had to go get her some gag gifts.  I stopped by CVS before heading over and had hoped to buy her a Princess set that I have seen there before.  Necklace, tiara, sceptor... that's what I was hoping for.  Unfortunately... not there.  So I switched it up and got her equally awesome gifts... a My Little Pony "Friendship is Magic" toy and a Cinderella Invisible Ink coloring book.  And Siobhan being the young'in she is had never played with an Invisible Ink coloring book before... STFU!?!  Yep!  She was truly impressed.  Or at least exetremely amused.  Lol.

And just for the birthday girl... she got dragged up for some "birthday spanks" and of course a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday sung by the entire bar.  Then to top it off, I finally got to sing Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know."  I made Siobhan help me and we completely rocked it.

Hey... my friends and I... we are totally a big deal!



Day 64

Today it was nothing more than compliments from friends that made my day.

As you know from a previous post, I ordered my dress for my besties' wedding.  Well while at work, I just HAD to show it off to my fellow coworkers.  Everyone around here is on the wedding buzz anyway with a few other ladies getting ready to take their vows this year as well.

The ladies LOVED my dress.  I got so many compliments on it.  It felt so wonderful.  They loved how different it was which is exactly why I chose it.

See... it's the little things that can make a day amazing.  Love and compliments made this day great.  :)

Day 63

Day 63 was pretty chillaxed. 

Some things that made me smile...

Woke up with pretty amazing bedhead that lasted all day.  It's so refreshing to be able to wake up, throw some clothes on and just go.  Especially when it's a Sunday and you have to work! 

Speaking of work... you know the routine.  Joe was hilarious.  Nina, Leeza and myself were all caught in his web of smart ass comments, but we all laugh and joke and are just one happy weekend work family.  :)

Best part of work.  Joe shared a donut with me.  Heather was nice enough to pick up Dunks for those who wanted it.  I declined because I already was hopped up on coffee. However Joe was craving a "sticky bun."  Sadly, that is not what he got.  The kids at the Dunks had no clue what was what and just gave Heather one of the large knotted glazed ones.  It was so big that joe basically split it with me, which I was totally cool with.  Glazed donuts are my fave!

After work I headed home for some R&R with the kitteh.  But first I did the heap of dishes that had piled up.  Nothing like cleaning up the kitchen to relieve the stress of beginning the work week. 

Then it was play time with my "Big Guy!"  Since falling hard into my depression I have sadly not given the playtime he needs.  Indie is a VERY energetic cat and I use to play with him every night to help him calm down before we settled for bed.  When I went and sat down in the living room like I use to do to play with him, his lil' itty bitty kitty head completely exploded!  His ears perked... his tail instantly got twitchy and he started to churbnurble like a mo-fo!! 

There is nothing like being around those who make you happy.  Nor like seeing the joy when you bring happiness to another.

Day 62

Dresses, jewelry and wedding preps!  Today I enjoyed a fantastic day of shopping with two of my favorite ladies!

I spent the day in Natick with Megan and Carrie.  See my lifelong friend Megan is getting married to my college bestie Charlie.  Here's the scoop... Charlie and I met in a Theatre class at Eastern Michigan University.  We hit it off and soon he asked if I would be his stage manager for a play he was directing.  One thing led to another... BOOM! Instant besties!  Then there's Megan... we have been friends since we were 11.  She is basically my "Sister from Another Mister."  We grew up together, graduated high school AND college together, lived with each other both in Michigan and in Massachusetts... let's just say we know things about each other that we will take to the grave!

So when I moved out here, Charlie was lucky enough to get an internship as an art museum on the other side of the state.  For his first birthday in Massachusetts, I invited him to the city to hang with all of us and hit the town.  That's where he met Megan (technically for a second time), and that's when the love bloomed! 

Ok, enough squishy stuff.  Wipe the tears and keep on writing.

Megan was hot on the trail of another wedding dress she had been eyeing... as Carrie and I still needed to pick out our dresses for the impending nuptials.  The ladies at the Natick David's Bridal are so fab!  They were absolutely packed with teeny boppers looking for prom dresses (and when I say packed I mean #shitshow packed!!).  However the ladies were on time with helping us while running around with their other appointments, and even when they aren't your assistant for the appointment, they still stop and help and let you truly know how a gown looks on you... good or bad. Lol.

Carrie and I went first for our gowns.  Carrie got a gorgeous short, strapless number with pockets that looks so great on her!  That girl looks so amazing in the Marine Blue the bridesmaids get to wear.  I got a Vera Wang dress (oh yeah... Vera Wang bitches!!) that is stunning!  At first I almos didn't grab it because it look so weird on the hanger.  Thank God I did!  Even though I had to try on a dress that was 3 sizes too big, all of us could tell that it was amazing! 

Then there is Megan.  OMG!  So she originally got a dress that looked great on her, but after a while she started to second guess her choice.  DB's was nice enough to let her do an even exchange for another dress in the store.  So that's what we did.  We found her the most beautiful dress that kicked the ass of her other one!  It is so flattering on her and has gorgeous detailing.  Let's just say it made my heart skip a beat when she walked out in it... Charlie is gonna die!!

After picking out the new dress, we had to get up to the amount that Megan was exchanging for.  So that turned into "Megan/Carrie/Alicia Play with Shoes and Jewelry Time!"  We played with necklaces, earrings and yes... TIARAS!!  I think I need to marry a king.  I look good with a crown.  :)

Several hours later... we were all set with our stuff, and completely famished!!  Luckily, on the way in to DB's, I spotted a Zaftig's.  Ugh, how I love Zaftig's and was flabbergasted to find that there was one in Natick!  Carrie went in and found out that they had a gluten-free menu, so we were all able to eat there.  Megan noshed on the Double Potato Latke appetizer with bacon and chives (delectable).  Carrie got "The Eye and I" burger on g-free bread (mouth-watering). Me, I veered away from my usual Empire Eggs Benedict and had a deli staple that I have never tried... a pastrami and swiss on rye.  Absolutely worth it!!  The sandwich was so tasty with the gooey swiss and homemade mustard.  It was also so big that I took the other half home.  Even though I couldn't finish my meal... I had to take an order of Zaftig's homemade rice pudding hime.  They gave me a massive container of the sweet treat, topped with cinnamon and fresh strawberries.  Mmmmm!!!  It made for a perfect late night snack as I played Sims later on.

It was such a fun-filled day!  I don't think it could have gone any better.

Love my ladies!!

Day 61

How could I possibly have more surprises in one week?  Oh they just kept coming!

Today I had an appointment with a specialist about a "hole" my optometrist found in my right eye during my annual the week before.  I didn't think it was going to be anything big, but it turned major.

The specialist was a wonderful German man who explained to me that I not only had a very tiny hole starting in my right retina, but I also had another that was causing a complete retina detachement!  He explained I need laser surgery and that it would only take about 5 mins..  What I didn't understand was that they were going to do it RIGHT THEN!!  It's so amazing how far medcine has come.  I was able to have laser surgery to correct the detachment right in the office, in 5 minutes!  Not going to lie though, it hurt like a MOTHER-F****R!!!  As it was explained to me, my detachment was right over a bundle of nerves and the doctor actually told me, "You are not going to like me after this."  I didn't hate him, but I could have kicked him in the teeth for all the painful jolts I experienced.  But hey, it's done, I didn't have to wear an eye patch, and I hopefully don't have to have the surgery done again... but that we will find out when I go for my post-op in two weeks.

So after updating everyone on Facebook about the craziness of the day...  I had an overflow of sweet comments and concerned posts from my friends.  In less than a minute I had several comments asking what was happening and well wishes from my friends.  Love you all! 

I spent the rest of the day trying to rid myself of the insane headache I had from the surgery and ordered in food.  Just kicked back and relaxed watching movies and playing with the kitteh. 

My new glasses!!!

I also did a bit of online shopping.  What did I purchase?  A NEW PAIR OF GLASSES!!!  Yes, I buy my prescription glasses online.  My sister-in-law Dani pointed me towards the website Coastal Contacts a couple years ago.  It's an online store where you can purchase prescription glasses and contacts at greatly reduced prices.  Plus they carry all name brands!  I have bought 2 pairs of glasses from them in the past and have never paid more than $150... and that includes the lenses!  You can also return the glasses, free of charge, within a YEAR if you don't like them.  Now that's a deal!

Now I had looked into buying the new pair I wanted previously as they were having a Spring sale and offering 25% off name brand styles.  When I hopped on today I realized the Spring sale was over so I was a little disappointed.  I couldn't remember the coupon code, but wanted to check and see if I put it in at the end of my order if it would work or not.  So I dug through my emails and found that I didn't need that code, because today and today only, they were offering 50% off!  How lucky is that?!?  With lenses and shipping, I only paid $65 for a name brand pair of glasses.  LOVE LOVE LOVE! 

If you like my glasses, you can find them here.  :)

Day 60

Thursdays for you = Friday for me!  So yeah, I love this day.  And today was... well let's say surprising. 

First, I had to write a weird story for work about how the Venezuelan government is planning on preserving the body of its recently deceased president, Hugo Chavez.  I wrote it pretty straight forward and then included other political figures who also had been preserved by their adoring followers. 

During the 10p, that story had to be taken out so we could hit our out time.  No biggy, it happens during live television.  You have to adjust.  What was so sweet though was hearing over the speakers Maria say how she was sad that story had been taken out.  Not because she particularly liked the story, but because "She (me) wrote that so beautifully."  My heart skipped a beat.  It is truly a great feeling when people see your hard work and appreciate it verbally.  Made me proud to know I am doing a good job at work.

I also took some free time at work to catch up on my blog from the days prior.  I posted one of the blogs to Facebook and Twitter and tagged all of my coworkers who helped make that blog day special.  I feel that not only do they help me get through my day, but if they see how they helped me, it will make them feel appreciated, which they should.  I work with the most amazing people in the world and they deserve every bit of credit for their hard work, professionalism, and all the love and support they give to everyone! 

Anyway, back to the post.  So I shared the blog and immediately those who were tagged started doing the "Ooooohs" and the "Awwwwwwws" around the studio.  Others asked me what they were talking about and I explained my blog.  A lot of people thought it was a great idea and a truly cathartic method of expressing myself.  Which it has been and I am very grateful I started this. 

Having pinpointed everyone at work in my blog, Maria decided to pinpoint me... on the air!  Here's what happened.  I was attempting to sneak out before the end of the show.  We are allowed to do it, so don't start judging me.  I moved to the cubicle on the other side of mine and started to put on my jacket.  I realized I wasn't going to be able to get to the exit before the camera was going to swing over to my desk.  So I sat at the desk opposite mine and planned on waiting it out to the end of the show.  Maria told me to get back to my desk so I could be a "prop."  Yes, we call ourselves props when we want the studio to look full and go jumping around from desk to desk.  Lol.  So I quickly sat back at my desk right as the camera was swinging over and started to pretend I was typing. 

Oh no... that was not Maria's plan.  As we were on the Storm Watch, Maria called me up to stand with them for Kev's last weather hit, so we could show the Metropolitan Boston area how bundled up I was for the storm.  I was so nervous.  I also didn't have a mic on so I don't know how much of my conversation people heard with the anchors, but I was so red!  Apparently I did a good job from what people saw on TV. 

 

But there you go... I called out how awesome my coworkers are, so they called me out ON AIR for being an awesome writer... and being properly bundled up for the impending snow storm. 

What a way to end the work week right?!?  :)

Day 59

Now this may not seem like an amazing, happy moment for many of you, but it was for me.

After work today, I got home and just couldn't sleep.  Too much on my mind.  Can't even remember now, but I did one of the most soothing things this OCD lady can do to help clear her mind... 

I cleaned.

It's just something that takes me out of my head.  I turn on one of my favorite shows on Netflix and just clean.  I focused on picking up my room and going through all my bills.  Having been sick over the past few months has increased my bill load and I unfortunately have been avoiding them hoping they might just disappear.  Yeah, not so much.

Being able to sit down though and sort through the mess of my room really made me feel good though.  It's a small accomplishment in a world where there are so many big weighing issues that take too much of our time and energy.  Having the night to organize that part of my life was truly refreshing. 

Day 58

Wow... where do I begin today.  So much has happened, both good and bad, but remember... we only focus on the good here.  Positive thoughts people!

Today was all about my coworkers.  Holy hell do I love them and they mean the world to me.  Such wonderful people.  Great at their jobs, completely professional... but also the most amazing friends anyone could have.

Let's start off with one of my favorite weathermen... Kevin.  A little background here.  We always call Kevin "The Peanut Gallery" at work.  His desk is way over to the side of our cubicles... so it is often we will be talking about something in our area, then you hear "The Peanut Gallery" chime in.  God forbid American Idol is one... he is always chirping away at his desk.  Too funny! 

So on this day, I was writing and could hear Kevin singing something softly over in his area.  I tuned in a little more to him and realized it was New Kids on the Block.  I giggled to myself and then continued to work.  Kevin then starts walking towards us and I hear him say, "Come on you guys know what I am singing."  For a moment there was silence... then I proudly stated the song.  Kevin laughed saying he knew we were listening and I said I am always paying attention because he is so funny over there.  Then Kevin sarcastically hits me back with... "No, it's because you are NOSEY!" 

I couldn't stop laughing!  Because if I truly think of it, maybe I am a bit nosey.  I am always focusing on the things around me.  I even had a coworker the other day who cracked a quiet joke and I kept silent... and he even said to me "Alicia I figured you would have chimed in on that one!"

Just goes to show... I may be"nosey," but it apparently goes noticed when I don't chime in with something to say.  And God knows, I always do. :)

Then there is Maria.  I have mentioned her often.  She is a true shining light and magnificent beam of energy.  One of her awesome things to do in the newsroom is to tell people their horoscopes.  It's a very fun and light-hearted event that we all love during the hustle and bustle of the crazy work day.

On this day, I was prompting in the control room and I could hear her starting on March's horoscopes for everyone.  I toplined my fellow writer Nina and asked her to tell Maria to check out mine as I could hear her.  That's when Maria gleefully said "Oh yeah she is a Cancer.  She is totally a Cancer." 

This is a conversation Maria and I have had several times.  Each time I have to laugh because she always loves to call out how I am so true to my zodiac sign.  It is actually pretty astonishing how dead on I am.  Plus, the woman Maria follows for her horoscopes is pretty dead on.  Like scary dead on.  I'm not gonna get into details, but let's just say it actually freaked me out.  Here is the horoscope that got me going!

Then... it was Tuesday Pints at BBC Walpole with my amazing coworkers.  It was pretty jam packed, so I didn't even try to get up and sing.  I just enjoyed my drink and my fantastic company.  So much love for Bill, Nancy, Siobhan, Kevin, Alex and now our coworker Drew has been joining us.  Never a dull moment with these guys.  Can't tell you how lucky I am to have them all in my life.

Love my life.  Love my friends.  Couldn't have made it without you guys.  You are all very, very dear to me.

Day 57

I woke up this morning after having the most wonderful dream.  I dreamed about my grandma and her garden. 

Now my grandma lived in a city, but she had a nice little backyard which she turned into a beatiful garden.  I remember being little and playing in the flowers, "helping" her in the garden.  The smells, colors, life... it was amazing.  I have always wished I had her green thumb, but honestly, I have never really tried.

In my dream it was after she had passed, but we were taking the flowers to give them new homes.  Everytime someone would hold up one of her plants they would ask, "What do we do with this one?"  Me, I simply couldn't let them go to different homes, so I took all of them.  I just kept saying, "It's what she would have wanted.  She would want me to make the world beautiful like she did."

I woke with this overwhelming feeling afterward.  I was happy, sad, overjoyed, inspired.

So today, I decided I want to make myself a little garden.  This is so exciting.  I am more interested in doing a garden of fruits, vegetables and herbs.  My backyard is pretty big, but it is all concrete and disheveled as no one takes care of it.  I hopped online and found tons of resources on urban gardening with little to no space.  I still need to ask my landlord if it is okay, but he has been very impressed with the work I have done around the house.  I am positive he will be okay with me picking up the backyard.

I know I can do this.  I want to do this.  And I have a ton of ideas that I can't wait to try out to make a unique garden... if you couldn't tell from my pics. 

Day 56

I guess today was more productive than than wonderful.  And that always makes me feel good!

Starting off the day after getting all rested up from my weekend's shenanigans.  I took the time this morning to try something new with my hair.  I had been reading up on ways to get more volume in my hairstyle and one thing kept popping up that I had never tried... velcro rollers!

Many people said they loved, but then there were just as many people saying that either the rollers got caught in there hair or left it looking frizzled and fried.  I weighed the good and the bad... and I chose to try it!  Hell why not.  You only live once right?  So I bought myself the biggest Conair velcro rollers I could find at CVS... double checked all the websites on how to get the perfect amount of volume... and tested them out! 

These pics don't do it justice. But the volume and curl lasted all day!

Boy oh boy why have I not tried these before!!  They are fabulous and so flippin' easy that I bet my 6 year old niece could do it!  Though I initially didn't get the amount of volume at the top as I wanted, the curl and volume it gave at the ends was gorgeous.  Plus, it stuck all day!  Definitely adding this to my daily routine.  :)

Ok, on to the news!  The funniest part of the day was Producer Joe making fun of me, as per usual, this time it was for my voice.  After "howling" all night Friday and the laughter of Saturday's D&D, my voice was trashed.  I sounded like I was 80 years old and had smoked 2 packs of Newports everyday of my life!  I admit, it was bad.  So of course Joe chose that as his tease topic of the night.  Lol.  Don't worry, it was funny and so worth it.

Back home I decided I needed to kick my own ass and get some cleaning done.  Tonight's task... the kitchen!  Let me give you a bit of background.  I am a MAJOR clean freak.  As in I typically would vaccuum my apartment at least twice a week.  Since my depression... yes I will admit it... set in and really started weighing down on me, I began neglecting my home.  Dishes, clothes, garbage... all began to pile up and I would just leave it.  My vaccuum, haven't touched it in months.  Even the cat was starting to get disgusted with the living conditions.  So as I am getting better, I am working one day at a time at getting back on track with everything... including cleaning. 

My new plan is to slowly start incorporating daily routines back into my life.  As I don't want to overwhelm myself and fall back down the massive hill I have already climbed by stressing myself out, I am taking these tasks on slowly, methodically.  First, cleaning will be a daily thing.  However I will not clean the whole apartment at once.  Each day I will clean one room.  Then at the end of the week, I will vaccuum and mop.  That way the house will be maintained, but I will not be overwhelmed and feel like a failure when I slip one day.  So far it has worked.  And on this night, it was the kitchen's turn to be taken on.  Piles of dishes... CLEANED!  Stove and countertops... CLEANED!  Fridge and freezer... CLEANED!  Bim bam boom!  Boy did it feel good!  Just like my life, I am cleaning up my house... one day at a time. 

Final little blip of joy.  I got back into playing Sims.  Yeah, yeah... go ahead and laugh.  I'm a nerd and I am damn proud of it.  This time, I deleted all of my previous games and began anew.  I created a character in the image of how I currently feel in my life.  Slim, sexy, vuluptuous, powerful.  She doesn't take shit, she is very chatty with new people... oh and of course, she has Indie right there with her.  :)

Day 55

Saturday = D&D Fun Day!

Ok, yeah, I'm a nerd... but so are my friends and we love it.  DEAL WITH IT!!

It is always great times when I get together with the gang for some RPG'ing.  We were able to get through a few encounters and boy were they good ones.  All of us also were about to advance a level, which I was thankful for because my character was kind of weak.  Or I should say I am not very good with my character so he needs some advancement to ensure he doesn't die... as often.  :)

My favorite moment... my character kicking ass and taking names!  Let me explain...

After one of our encounters, our group came upon a new character.  It was a giant who was big, dumb and cranky.  We had to choose whether or not we would release him from his shackles, or leace him there to die.  We decided to choose to let him go if he would protect us through the night.  One of our characters didn't roll high enough to convince him to do so... so I stepped up.  My character rolled a true 20!  Plus the high level of "intimidation" my character already had... I was pretty much golden. 

The story I created for how I intimidated him was priceless.  My character in the game is a monkey man.  So in true monkey fashion, I had my character jump up on the racks he was shackled to and squat over his face... threatening to poo on him if he didn't help us out!  Everyones faces just dropped as I laid out my methods of intimidation.  Too, too funny!

Day 54

Happy Freaky Friday Y'all!!!  How freaky was it? 

Why I am glad you asked!

Tonight I met up with my friends at Howl at the Moon, a dueling piano bar in Downtown Boston.  My friend Carrie won a Happy Hour event so a lot of us came out for it.  We were given discounted drinks that were not watered down, a buffet full of great food, and of course... music and dancing galore! 

I had only planned on staying for a little while, but I couldn't leave once I got there.  I love piano bars.  I use to go to one back in Michigan all the time... like weekly!  So being able to enjoy that kind of atmosphere again was such a joy!  I met so many new people and got to enjoy wonderful times with old friends. 

One funny, and also flattering, moment of the night... everyone's obsession with my boobs!  Lol!  Seriously, I wish I could make this up.  My friends were so fascinated with "the ladies" because of the shirt I was wearing.  I knew it would turn heads (deep v-neck number), but I had to wear it.  It was a shirt that I had bought back in college and have been holding on to in hopes of the day where I would lose enough weight to be able to wear it again. 

Obviously that day had finally come, and what a perfect night for it!  My friends kept complimenting me on how great it looked on me... and how great I looked in general.  Most of these friends hadn't seen me in months... or at least hadn't seen me in such a form fitting outfit since losing all the weight.  Let's just say my confidence was through the roof that night.  :)