This One's for You...

From Ruby 5/19/13

I love my family.  I don't know if you guys have noticed that as a theme in my posts or not, but yeah, they are pretty awesome.  One person who is especially awesome in my family... my niece Ruby.  This one goes out to her, by special request.  :)

Ruby Taryn Marteney was born April 18th at 6:56 PM.   She weighed 8 lbs, 6 oz and was 22" long!  Being my first niece, she was completely a priceless treasure to me.

She is such a dear, sweet little soul.  She truly takes after her namesake, which was my grandmother.  Here are some silly and sweet stories about our girl.

4/18/06

When Ruby was only a few months old, I had the honor of getting to babysit her while the family went out.  The poor babe was suffering from a cold though and was in a terribly fussy mood.  Before everyone left, I was sitting in the TV room with her standing on my lap, attempting to get some sort of smile out of her.  I just couldn't stand seeing those sweet cheeks covered in tears anymore and knew if anyone could get her to smile, it would be Aunt Licia (yes that is spelled correctly as that is what all the kids call me).

Well, I got her to smile alright.  The bouncing on my lap loosened up all her congestion and she let out a big ole' sneeze on me!  Boogies went all over my shirt, her dress... I didn't think something so tiny could have such a massive amount of nose gold!  As I was sitting there kind of flippin' out, she just looked up at me and gave the biggest grin.  It was pure joy and relief visible right on her face... I couldn't help but laugh. 

More recently, Ruby came out to Boston with my family to bring me my stuff when I moved into my new apartment.  We took her to all the historic sites which she really enjoyed.  One thing I ought to tell you about my Ruby-Doo... she is not shy when it comes to talking to people.  She is a very friendly child and loves to chat it up.  Now that you know that, I can tell you she loved talking to all our guides, asking tons of questions everywhere we went!  So during our trek along the Freedom Trail, we stopped in the Old North Church so she could see where Paul Revere lit the torches to warn everyone of the approaching British Troops.  Well... at least that's how we all know the story.

Christmas 2012

After the tour guide was done talking, Ruby ran up to her to ask some more questions.  The most notable you ask? 

Ruby: "When was it that Sam Adams warned Boston that the Chinese were coming?"

I am not joking... it was EPIC!  We all burst out laughing.  I guess we may have confused her with all the large amounts of history we were teaching her.  Don't know how the Chinese got brought up... maybe because of our first meal in my new apartment?  No clue!

Then there is the uber sweet side of our precious Ruby.  As I said, she is a very caring soul like my grandmother.  My favorite example involves her baby sister Raegan.

Christmas 2012 with Ruby and Raegan

Ruby and Raegan share a room at my brother and sis's house.  Something she is not at all jealous about.  She LOVES her baby sis!  Guards her, takes care of her, plays with her.  She is just a fantastic big sister!  Well one night, my sister-in-law tells us how the two of them were supposed to be sleeping when Raegan started fussing in her crib.  Dani could hear it through the monitor and was about to get up and go check on her when she started to hear Ruby talking to Raegan.  She started sweetly shushing her, told her everything was alright because her sissy was there, and then went on to start singing to Raegan.  Too cute and such a big help to Dani!

Ever since she was born, this kid makes my heart melt daily!  She is my one and only Roobers... and I love her dearly.

Brant and Ruby
2006/2012

Childhood

This past Friday I spent the day at Castle Island with my bestest Axel.  It was the first time either of us had been and it was an exceptionally beautiful day.  Axel had the great idea of flying kites as the winds were perfect.

It was during this time that I started thinking of things from when I was a kid.  Days spent playing outside on the farm.

First, I had to enjoy the sights and sounds of the landing planes.  For those of you who are not familiar with the area, Castle Island is right next to Logan International Airport.  Furthermore, when I was growing up, our home was also near an airport.  The sound to me is almost comforting.  Strange I know, but I still can't sleep in total silence because I am so use to the noises from those planes flying over and the trains across the way going by.

It was while I was laying in the grass looking up as they flew over that I remembered a funny "not-so-true" fact I always believed in growing up.  I always thought that the exhaust coming from those planes was what made the clouds.  And as I laid there watching them swirl and dissipate, I could only dream that my imaginative ideas were true.



Next thought came while Axel and I were flying our kites.  After years of learnin' in the school, science has taught me aerodynamics and the truth of how things fly.  However little kid me... yeah not so much.  I remember believeing that kites could only fly if you ran with them.  You had to throw them in the air and run like hell or they wouldn't stay up in the air.

My reasoning behind this any of this... hell if I know.  But this wonderful day of fun brought up a ton of memories, as well as created some new ones.

Can't wait for more fun in the sun and flashbacks to my ridiculous childhood.

A Mother's Love

Mom and Dad's Wedding Day

They say pets provide unconditional love.  Though I highly agree with this statement... I also say moms provide us with that too.

This past weekend we celebrated Mother's Day.  That special day where you tell the woman who suffered through hours of labor, months of additional baggage carrying you around, and years of constant joy and pain to love, protect and cherish us mini-humans who resemble them.  I'm all about giving props to these women!  Don't believe many people would disagree either, because no matter what, that's the woman who brought you into this magnificent world... and you damn well better apreciate that.

I've told you about my mom in previous posts.  Becky is awesome!  She is so sweet, caring, loving, funny, gorgeous.  She is SuperMom to the MAX!  Mostly becasue she had to put up with us three kids.  Kudos Beck for not killing us.  Well at least Jay and Phil... I'm the good one.  ;)

My most recent story on how amazing she is comes in light of the Marathon Bombings. 

After the events of April 15th, my world was a bit shaken.  Screw a bit, I was a downright mess! 

Venice 2005

As I explained in "Let It Out", the bombing was just too close to home.  So was the inevitable takedown of the Tsarnaev Brothers... especially with Dzhokhar being found just 2 streets from my house.  Working in news made it difficult to avoid the constant reports of every... little... detail that was being found about these guys and their history. 

Eventually, it all became too much.  I would start crying for no reason.  Every night I would have nightmares involving bombs, losing my friends, and not being able to find a way out of the situation.  I wouldn't want to go to sleep, nor would I then want to wake as I was so exhausted.  I soon started doubting life again and didn't want to be here.  It was all just so overwhelming.

After one particularly bad night, I kept emailing mom trying to calm down.  During the back and forth, mom started saying that maybe for Mother's Day she could convince dad to let her gift be coming to see me.  I was totally down for that.  And before I knew it, she emailed me her flight info... she was flying in the very next day!

Newport 2013

She stayed with me for four days.  I took her to Newport to tour the mansions.  We went shopping (as we do every time we see each other), we cooked, we worked on a puzzle.  It was great.  Most importantly, we just enjoyed each others company.  I just needed my momma, and she knew it.

How many people can say their mom dropped everything to fly halfway across the country just to give them a hug?  I can!  That's why Becky is amazing!  Plus since she left, I haven't had a single nightmare.  Talk about Momma Magic!

Though she never wanted me to leave home, she was able to see how much I enjoy life here, which in turn made her happy.  And though I didn't want to leave home, I'm glad my family is still so supportive from so far away.

I love my family.  I love my mom.



Christmas 2012

As a mother's love is passed from one mom to the next... I wrote my mom, asking her to tell me what she loved about grandma.  Here's what she wrote:

There are so many memories of my mom that make me smile.

 

Mom would go out of her way to help others. I remember one Easter Sunday at Fort St. We were leaving the church and there was a homeless woman standing across the street. Mom went over to her and gave her $20. It was so touching to see the homeless woman's reaction when mom gave her the money. She thanked her over and over again.

 

Mom was a charter member of Heritage Hospitals "Pink Ladies". She was in charge of setting up the chapel in this new hospital. She picked out the tile, carpet, paint, pictures and furniture. When she was finished it was beautiful. She spent many years volunteering there and touching so many lives. After she died the hospital named the chapel after her. A very proud moment for our family.

 

I loved being with her. She taught me what being a family is all about. She was from a family of seven. I grew up with lots of aunts, uncles and cousins around all the time. We spent weekends at Aunt Dorothy's lake house singing around the bonfire, roasting marshmallows, playing games and listening to stories about their youth. Mom and Aunt Dorothy would sing "Keep Young & Beautiful". They sang this on the radio in Detroit when they were little girls. Every time they were together they sang this song. Even when mom was in her final stage of cancer in the hospital, Aunt Dorothy came to visit her and they sang "their" song one last time.

 

 

Anna

I guess you can say I was raised right by my family.  I say please, thank you, open doors for people... you know the usual niceties.  But there is one thing that has taken me forever to do, and I am finally doing it.  Writing a thank you letter to the family of a dear friend who passed away.

Her name was Anna and she died back in 2009.  She was one of my best friends through middle school and the beginning of high school.  Anna had skipped a grade and made it into the same gym class as me.  She was brilliant, caring, charismatic and had a huge heart.  We instantly clicked.

She was an only child and her parents always loved having me join them for family events.  Trips to Mackinac Island, Stratford in Canada for the Shakespeare Festival, the many Ba'hai dinners we attended.  It was Anna and her dad who introduced me to Pink Floyd thoroughly.  So much happiness was had!

As what sometimes happens in life though, we all change. 

Anna started hanging with other friends and started getting into trouble.  I decided that life wasn't for me and stuck with our group.  It got to the point where her family took her out of our school and moved her to a different school, hoping things would get better.  She did graduate and went off to college, but her troubled past stuck with her.

I tried being friends with her once more during college after running in to her in our hometown.  I took her to a bonfire with me, thinking it would be a nice relaxed night.  Instead, she found that some of the guys there could get her a fix, and off she went.  Little did I know that would be the last time I would see her.  Me, lying when I said goodbye.  Saying I would talk to her soon, but I wouldn't.  It wasn't a lifestyle I wanted to be involved in. 

It was that lifestyle that eventually took her life.  Whether it was accidental or on purpose, Anna died of an overdose.  She was only 25.

At her wake, her parents were overjoyed to see me.  It had been years and like I said, I was family to them.  Her father actually skipped the line of people waiting to talk to them and came straight over to me and gave me a hug.  Many of the photos at her wake also included me with them on their family trips.  It was heartbreaking to see, but wonderful to know that the feelings I had always held for them in my heart, were mutual.

So here we are.  Just days ago marked four years since her passing.

This letter as I said has been years in the making.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of Anna and her parents.  Movies, music, books... so many things remind me of them.  And this letter is one little thing that I have been wanting to do to let them know that they are loved.

If you know me, you know I am a VERY loving person.  I tell most everyone I love them, but when I say it, it's genuine.  If you've ever had me tell you "heart your face," you know it's true.

Love is a feeling that I can't help but want to share with people, and it's something everyone needs.  Whether it be sending a silly text, buying you a cheapo gag gift, bringing you your favorite candy, or making you a card with my usual construction paper and crayons... know it's truly from the heart and that I cherish you as a friend.

In life, I have learned to never take a day for granted.  I want the people I care about to know that they are loved, cherished, and make life better for me by letting me into theirs.

This is why I want to write to Anna's parents.  Though time has passed, they are still on my mind.  The memories they have left upon me are a guiding force in my life.  Even if they don't know it, they have changed my life for the better, and I heart them for that.

Though I miss you Anna, the memories you left continue to bring me much joy.

Thank you for being a part of my life.