Wake. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

There are so many things I want to do with my life. I want to travel. I want to own a home. I want to make a difference in the world.

In real life though, I am bound in a never-ending Groundhog's Day of depression.

Wake. Eat. Work. Sleep. Repeat.

My time is spent pretending everything is fine, while inside I am holding on by a thread most days, just trying to keep some grasp on my sanity and not breakdown crying from the amount of disappointment I feel in myself.

How can I possibly make a change in the world when I can't get out of bed most days? When I don't want to do anything, including brush my hair or get out of my pajamas. Hell, I don't want to put on pants.

Most days I sit and self-loathe in the dark. Spending my time playing games or watching shows just to try and take my mind off how much I hate myself.

I know though that it's not me. It's my depression, curling its ugly black arms around me. It holds me down and tells me how worthless I am. How I'll never make something of myself. How no one will want to tell my story. No one will remember me for I have not done anything worthy of recollecting.

I try to work past these feelings though. Push through the pain to make it through the day. Hoping that today I will do something that will bring joy to another person. Hoping I will do something worthwhile.

So I do what I can. Tonight, that's sitting here in my bed, writing a blog maybe only a handful of people will read. Hoping my words will speak to someone out there who just needs to know that they are not alone.