Don't feel like writing, but have to get it out.
Today I had a sit down with our new News Director about my interest in producing. As you can probably guess, it didn't go too well. In fact, it kind of irritated me.
Not going to go into detail, but it started with him snidely asking why I wanted to be a producer "now." As in my decision was random and only just came to me. I politely, yet firmly told him this wasn't an "on the whim" decision, I've wanted to be a producer for a while, and my EP and our old News Director knew it. I went on to say they supported it, and that's why I had been trained and allowed to fill in. He then went on to basically tell me he would be rotating out most of our current producers, and he'd be bringing in new people.
It was just not something I had expected today. And the news was obviously disheartening. All of us love what we do, and we admittedly say how much we love working together, We are like a legit family. However with the way things have been going lately, we don't know how long we will all be together. Which is sad because the new company seems so awesome to work for, but the decisions being made by the news director are really taking a toll on all of us. Several backhanded comments. Snide remarks. Just not a nice environment to work in right now. And it isn't just me, a lot of us are feeling it.
My chest has physically hurt since talking with him. Just a weight of anxiety and sadness. And wroth all the new stuff we are having to do, with a VERY limited staff, taking a Clonapen is completely out of the question. So there I am, left with dread in my heart, trying to help my friends as much as I can, with what little I feel like I can give at this moment.
And when it rains, it pours. The Ferguson ruling was made tonight. Riots everywhere. Angry calls, emails, messages. Buildings being burned, property destroyed, people hurt. The images, just so shocking. I knew that no matter what the decision was going to be from the grand jury, people would not be happy. But it never makes sense to follow violence with violence. I just hope it all ends soon.
So with my heavy heart, I will now go to sleep. Hope for a better day tomorrow. Focus on remaining strong to make sure I don't fall back in to my pit.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Spreading the Word
I am excited to announce that I am now on my way to helping fight the stigma of depression and the terrible turn it can take.
Today, I had an amazing meeting with a woman named Kerry. She is the head of the Boston chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. We met in Arlington for brunch/coffee to discuss volunteer options for me with the chapter.
Kerry was so sweet and easy to talk to. We ended up having a lot in common so the conversation just flowed. I told her my story. She told me hers. It was nice to sit and talk with someone else who understood the challenges of this disease. It was a warming reminder that I am not alone.
So when we finally got down to business about ways I could help, I was floored with her suggestions. Based on my experience in production and working events, she suggested I join one of their upcoming committees to help out at an event next year. It's called A Sip in the Park, a beer and wine tasting experience held at Fenway. Can we say heaven!? I was quite honored that she would suggest something so big right off the back. My head is completely exploding with excitement over the potential to help such a great cause with such a mind-blowing event!
Not only that, she suggested with my writing background and my fearlessness talking about my struggle openly that I consider becoming a Field Advocate for the AFSP. In that position, I would help the AFSP spread the word about helping others with mental illness, educating them on how to see the signs of depression, as well as help create/promote public policies that would help those who have been impacted by mental illness. Such an incredible opportunity to make a difference!
I have already begun, in a way, by discussing sponsorship opportunities with work to be a part of this great organization. Many of my coworkers have already offered to join in the Out of the Darkness Walk with me this coming June. Just one of the many reasons I love where I work. We are a family. We support each other. And luckily, we all want to make a difference in the world.
I'm ready to get started. I'm ready to tell my story. I'm ready to help make a change.
Check out the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's website for more on the Out of Darkness Walk, and other ways you can help in erasing the stigma of mental illness.
Today, I had an amazing meeting with a woman named Kerry. She is the head of the Boston chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. We met in Arlington for brunch/coffee to discuss volunteer options for me with the chapter.
Kerry was so sweet and easy to talk to. We ended up having a lot in common so the conversation just flowed. I told her my story. She told me hers. It was nice to sit and talk with someone else who understood the challenges of this disease. It was a warming reminder that I am not alone.
So when we finally got down to business about ways I could help, I was floored with her suggestions. Based on my experience in production and working events, she suggested I join one of their upcoming committees to help out at an event next year. It's called A Sip in the Park, a beer and wine tasting experience held at Fenway. Can we say heaven!? I was quite honored that she would suggest something so big right off the back. My head is completely exploding with excitement over the potential to help such a great cause with such a mind-blowing event!
Not only that, she suggested with my writing background and my fearlessness talking about my struggle openly that I consider becoming a Field Advocate for the AFSP. In that position, I would help the AFSP spread the word about helping others with mental illness, educating them on how to see the signs of depression, as well as help create/promote public policies that would help those who have been impacted by mental illness. Such an incredible opportunity to make a difference!
I have already begun, in a way, by discussing sponsorship opportunities with work to be a part of this great organization. Many of my coworkers have already offered to join in the Out of the Darkness Walk with me this coming June. Just one of the many reasons I love where I work. We are a family. We support each other. And luckily, we all want to make a difference in the world.
I'm ready to get started. I'm ready to tell my story. I'm ready to help make a change.
Check out the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's website for more on the Out of Darkness Walk, and other ways you can help in erasing the stigma of mental illness.
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