Happy Birthday Momma!

It comes as no surprise to many of you how much I love my mom.  I've written about her before on here and today is no exception.  Today is Becky's birthday, so she deserves all the praise in the world on this day God graced the world with her presence.

My mom is hands down one of the most amazing women I know.  The only person who could be above her, is her mom, so obviously she took on many of her traits.  She is a spectacularly strong, caring woman.  Always giving all of herself to help bring a smile to others.

She has gone through a lot in her time on Earth.  Of course, it comes with the good and the bad... but she never shows her pain.  She continues on through the day with a smile, always making sure everyone is happy.

All my life I have looked up to her, though I have of course fought her on many occassions (putting patterns into my wardrobe, adding color into my life, boys), I have never wanted to be more like anyone in my life than to be like her.  If I could live up to be a fraction of the woman she is, I count that as a great success. 

Today, I want to say thank you for being you mom.  For being the most amazing role model ever.  For pushing me to be better.  For letting me know I can do anything.  For always letting me know that no matter what I do, you are always proud of me, and love me unconditionally.

Happy birthday momma... I love you!

For just one of the many wonderful stories on Momma Becky, check out one of my past posts on how she helped me after the Marathon Bombings.  Just one of the many things she has gone out of her way to do, to bring a smile to my face.  Click the blog title below.

A Mother's Love

Busting My Butt!

"Get Fit Fall"   

"Off Your Ass October"

"No Excuses November"

Yeah, there have been a lot of names I have thrown out for my attempts to stop being lazy.  At least this time, I'm making sure I'm sticking to my exercise regimen.  Granted I'm only on day 3, but I'm feeling pretty good about all this.

Yesterday was day 2 on DailyBurn, and I got to dance!  Metabolic HipHop with Keaira LaShae.  It only took 23 minutes, but damn was I sweating.  Kearia shows you a few moves, with modified versions for the adventurous, and after a few times of doing them individually, you then get into making a routine.  What I love is she is super fun, and tells you to make sure you have fun with it.  The whole point of dancing is to get out there and add your own flare and style, and Keaira encourages you to do that.  So it never feels like exercise, it's just plain fun!  I will let you know though, I was dying the rest of the day.  Legs hurt every time I tried to move.  It was bar night though, so the wine was extra delightful knowing I kicked my own ass so hard that day.

Now to today, day 3.  This was the workout I have been fearing since starting.  Cody Storey's Tactical Cardio.  It was hellacious... but yet not so bad with Cory leading the way.  He is like the Best Friend Drill Sargent you never knew you wanted, but always needed.  Cody Storey is a former professional snowboarder with a chill California attitude.  LOVE HIM!

Tactical Cardio... what is it?  Basically his version on an Insanity workout.  You go through 5 different movements, do them balls to the walls for 90 seconds straight, then take a 30 second break before moving on to the next... repeat for 3 rounds and there you go.  So yeah... I was terrified to do this when I looked ahead yesterday.  My body was already in so much pain I knew it couldn't be good to do something like that with the way I was feeling.  Surprisingly though, I was astonished at how much I was able to do!  In fact, I felt better when I was done than when I started.  And Corey, though he keeps pushing you to go farther, he also reminds you to do what you can, but not give up.  

Tomorrow is a "recovery" day with Corey.  Mostly just stretches and yoga moves.  Can't wait!

Let's Make This Happen

It's a tale you have heard me tell many times.  "I'm gonna exercise!" "I'm gonna eat healthier!" "I'm gonna run!"

Have I done that yet?  Nope.

Today I am going to change that, hopefully.  I have planted my feet, and have started on a healthier track.  As of today, I will make an effort to eat better.  Make an effort to exercise daily.  Make an effort to stop beating myself up, God knows we are only human and make mistakes.

Along with my coworkers, we have all decided to challenge each other to lose weight.  Technically it was supposed to start November 1st, but I don't really think any of us stuck to that.  Lol!  I had a Halloween party this weekend so I knew I wasn't going to start until today.  Too many sweets and booze in the house to start a diet on. 

Luckily for me, I was able to wake early (Thanks Daylight Savings Time!) and began my day with DailyBurn.  I know I mentioned it before, but this is such a good fitness helper.  The ones I have done have all been awesome, and the instructors are very supportive, but also have a high amount of energy.  I restarted the workout I chose a while ago and plan to stick with it, doing the daily workouts for a full month.  Let's see how that works out!

Also hopped back on to Weight Watchers.  Going to get on track... by tracking myself and what I do on the daily.  

Yes I know I have said this all before, but I am planning on writing about all that I do each day. Journal my daily work, hold myself accountable not just to myself, but to you readers.  

Today on the DailyBurn, I was challenged to a Tabata-style workout.  38 minutes total of doing 5 different workouts, as many as you can for 20 seconds, then having only a 10 second break before doing the next set.  INTENSE!  My legs feel like jelly right now, but I am so happy that I did it.  One day down, 27 more to go in my Total Cardio series!  I you want something different, I highly recommend you check it out, especially as the first month is free, then it's only $10/month after.  Check it out here!

It was then time to plan my meal for the day.  Luckily for me I have already been buying healthier food options, so it was easy to whip up a good meal.  Breakfast was a Tomato Avocado Salad with Scrambled eggs and mushrooms.  Then for dinner, I made Chicken Curry with carrots, onions and brown rice.  It made my house smell so heavenly that it was hard not to eat a bowl right then and there!  Snacks for work included baby carrots, and some Coconut Honey popcorn to help with the sweet tooth I've been having. 

With this menu, I am already at 20 points for the day, with my limit on WW being 26.  So when I get home I just need to make sure I don't pig out like I usually do.  That's the time I am most likely to gorge myself.  That quiet time alone at home, where there is no one casting judgements on my midnight McDonald's runs, or me grabbing Taco Bell before heading home after work.  These are the things I REALLY need to watch out for.  This is my Battle with the Blerch!

Ch...Ch...Ch...Ch... CHANGES!!!

Ok, so waking up earlier.  Not doing so well on.  I am though getting more active, which is making me start to feel better about myself.  And by getting more active... I mean I am on day 2 of a workout regimen.  :)

I first switched my diet plan on Weight Watchers.  Instead of doing the typical tracking method, I am now trying their Simply Full plan.  Basically you don't count points daily, but you are supposed to stick to what they consider "Power Foods" and have a weekly allowance of points for the foods that aren't a "Power Food."  After going through it, I realized I was mainly eating the recommended foods anyway, so I figured I would try it for a week just to see how it worked out for me.  Already I have lost 2 pounds, even with some of the Taco Bell binges I have had.  You may think that is disgusting, but I get horrible late night Crunchy Gordita cravings that just have to be quenched.  SORRY READERS!!

On the exercise side, I joined a website called DailyBurn that I am liking so far.  It's only $10/month with the first 30 days free so you can try it out.  But you go on the site, tell them what you want to achieve, how much time you have daily to put forth towards a workout, and if you prefer a "Drill Sergeant" or a "Friend" as your trainer.  From there, they recommend a program best suited for you and you do it!

It was initially suggested for me that I do a yoga program, which I absolutely would have been fine with any other time.  However, I want more cardio as I really want to build up my strength for running, so I switched it, which you are allowed to do at any time with this program.  Another perk to this site.  :)

I began today with a Hip Hop class with a really fun instructor... all right in my living room.  I just hooked up my computer to my TV and had an absolute blast. In the short 25 minute class, I was sweating like crazy in the end, and my legs are already feeling the burn.  Not only that, but while you work out each day, they give you challenges that you update as you go through the class, and if you do well, you get money towards their store which sells workout essentials.  Not a bad perk if you ask me!

But then with shaking my ass comes the craving for sweets!  So I took the rest of my time before heading out to work to make cupcakes to share with my fabulous coworkers.  Technically, I was using them more as guinea pigs to improve my baking skills, but I knew they wouldn't complain.

Goodies for Fox 25 Crew

I found an awesome recipe on FoodGawker for a pumpkin spice cupcake with a brown butter maple frosting.  It fit so perfectly as I just made some homemade pumpkin puree earlier in the week.  Allowing me ti make these cupcakes completely from scratch... and feel that much more damn good about it.

My baby plate of rejects all for me!!

And the cupcakes... an instant hit at work!  I put them at the Assignment Desk at 3:30... by the end of the 6... they were all gone!  One of my coworkers even came up to me and said how the frosting was the best maple frosting he has ever had, and he should know... he grew up in the heart of Maple Country in Vermont.  Then Assign Guy himself told me he was starting to feel awkward with the cupcakes at the desk because of all the "love-making" noises people were making as they were eating them.  If that doesn't make a baker feel good... I don't know what will!

Now I'm working on making a menu for my Halloween Party this year, and FoodGawker is giving me some fantastic ideas!  Can't wait to share when it is set!

All that was left by the time I got out of the Control Room

 

Cooking with Quinoa

Finally did it!  Got up early this morning and made the Eggplant Parmesan Quinoa Casserole I mentioned earlier this week.  Not only was this going to be my first of hopefully many recipe try-outs from all the books and blogs I follow.  It would also be my first time cooking with quinoa.

So the recipe I used came from a blog I found while messing around on StumbleUpon one night.  It is called "The Iron You" and it is written by a guy named Mike who is a "triathlete, yogi, health enthusiast and food lover." And man, are his recipes enticing! This one immediately caught my eye and partially why I wanted to start posting about the awesome meals I have been making.

I'm not going to get into the full recipe... that's why I am linking to it here.

But here are some snazzy pics of what I did!

For starters, instead of using a canned tomato sauce, I always just used canned tomatoes and make a mix of my own. So for this recipe I took my favorite canned brand, Hunt's Basil Oregano Diced Tomatoes, then diced up a few more Roma tomatoes I had on hand, and blended them up. I don't know why I don't do this more. I could've ate this straight.

Then it was quinoa time.  With such a weird name, this country bumpkin always thought quinoa would be difficult to make and expensive to boot.  Not so!  I bought a couple bags of these at Star Market for about $5/bag.  And just like rice, a little uncooked turns into A LOT when cooked.  The bag says I can cook it in my rice cooker too.  So healthy and easy?  Hellz yeah I'm making this more often. 

The recipe called for crushed red pepper to be added to the quinoa as it was plain.  I did mine to taste, but I have to say, once you bake this up, the red pepper really becomes more prominent.  So next time I may back off just a wee bit.

Another thing I noticed is when cooking the onions, the recipe called for 1 Tbsp of olive oil.  Cooking nearly a whole onion then adding the eggplant after to the same pan I thought nothing of it.  However, just like with the red pepper, once baked, the flavor really came out.  It wasn't bad, in fact I was stoked that I could taste it.  But just a warning, you may want to reduce the amount if you aren't a fan.

Then it was time to combine all the sauce aspects and let it simmer.  Seriously, my house was smelling amazing during the 30mins this took.  The combination of all the ingredients were very aromatic, especially as I was able to use a handful of the basil from my garden.  That right there was satisfaction enough with this whole recipe. 

After the simmering stage, you just toss in the quinoa with some Parmesan, put into a baking dish and pop it into the oven.

This whole recipe took about an hour, maybe a little more to make.  It was completely worth it though, and the portions are a decent size.  I was worried being on WW that the portions would be small, but when I divided it up into six servings, it was quite a bit.  And anyone out there on WW, it is only 8 points per serving (obviously though it depends on how much cheese you put in).  So I just added some lemon drenched greens with mine to make a meal and both satisfied and full in the end.

And so you know, "Iron" Mike says the longer this sits in the fridge, the better it actually gets as the sauce flavors soak more into the quinoa.  I'm excited for these leftovers tomorrow!  And sorry for not showing the serving I ate... it was too good to put my fork down. 

So Fresh and So... Healthy

Hello friends!

So I have yet to make the recipes mentioned in the previous blog as I only just had a chance to go grocery shopping yesterday.  But boy oh boy was it a blast!

My friends and coworkers Aly and Jon told me about this awesome local market right in Watertown.  The store is called Russo's and I checked it out before and loved it!  Fresh/local everything! They also have a deli/cheese counter where they will make gourmet sandwiches to order, plus another counter of pre-made food you can buy by the pound.  They also have an eclectic mix of items from all around the world, so it is easy to go there and get inspired to create recipes.  And I am certainly inspired!

Though I haven't made the recipes yet, I was a good girl and finally stuck to a plan to prepare my fruits and veggies in advance.  I am notorious for buying tons of healthy options, then letting it sit there and rot because I would rather grab something which is unhealthy and go.

One awesome thing I did, I made my own pumpkin puree!  I know it probably would've been easier to just buy a can, but I wanted to take on the challenge, and do it all by myself.

It was actually quite simple to do as well.  Just get a small pumpkin, I bought sugar pumpkins because they were both bulky and petite.  I don't have a good pair of knives, so I actually used the knives from my pumpkin carving kit.  First, cut the top off, divide into 6 pieces, and scoop out all the seeds and pulp from the inside.  you then turn on the stove to 350 degrees, and bake for 45 mins, or until they are fork tender.  Remove skins and then blend, blend, blend!  Nommy!

I used the recipe from The Pioneer Woman so I knew what I was doing.

Also made a delightful sandwich I found on FoodGawker.  It was called a California Sandwich.  Tomatoes, avocados, cilantro... grom nom!  It was quick and easy and quite delightful.  Plus, really low on my Weight Watchers Point scale, so I was even more thrilled!  The recipe is below, I just omitted the cheese to make it healthier.  To be honest, the sandwich itself had so much flavor I really don't believe it needed it in the first place.

Hopefully tomorrow I will make one of the recipes before work.  Maybe some salsa too, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.  It's already a long night working on my off day, but also because the Red Sox/Tigers game pushed our show back, so I'm not getting home til late.  Ce la vie!

My Contract

So the past months have been difficult.  I have slipped back into my old ways of feeling low and need to get back out.  No apparent reason for the fall, just something I need to work on.

One of the things I have been doing with my therapist which really seems to be working is making contracts with myself.  Little things just to make sure I am getting things done, and not falling behind.  The other week, it was things as simple as getting groceries by a certain day, and to start being more active.

As such, I have been trying to find something to engulf myself in to keep me busy.  Something I can make a contract with myself about.  Working out isn't going so well.  Fall is hear so my garden is basically done, especially since the critters REALLY enjoy the noms and have left none for me.

So it suddenly hit me.  What have I been spending most of my time doing every morning before work?  Cooking!  I have been obsessed lately with trying to cook outside the box.  New foods, different spices, new methods.  I have tons of cookbooks that I have, recipes I have copied out of books, magazines.  It's all just sitting there, waiting to be made.

As such, I am making a contract right here, right now that I am sharing with you guys so I have to stick with it.  Not only will I get back to blogging about the good things that happen everyday, but twice a week I am going to make meals out of my cookbooks/blogs/websites.  Not only does it give me something to talk about with you guys, but it also ensures I have good food in my fridge.

Let me begin with what I have cooked today.  Lemon Chicken Nuggets, and Apple Pie Wontons.

The Lemon Chicken Nuggets is a play on one of my favorite family dishes... with a little twist.  Let's begin with what's inside.

• 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cubed
• 1 tsp minced garlic
• 2 Tbsp fresh Rosemary
• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• 1 Egg
• Salt and pepper
• 1 Tbsp grated Parmesan

The directions, UBER simple.  Seriously... I may end up making them this way from now on, for the rest of my life.  Plus, it is like adult food put in kid form, so of course I'm loving it!  All you need to do...

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
2. Line baking sheet with tin foil, sprayed with olive oil.
3. Place all ingredients in a blender/processor... pulse til all worked together.
   (Honestly, this looks gross, but it will taste amazing once all done)
4. Take a spoon and scoop out dollops of chicken mix onto tin foil. Lightly flatten with spoon.  When I did it, I got about 20-22 nuggets out of the amount I prepared.
5. Place in oven for about 15-20 minutes, flipping once.

That's it!  I of course will be eating these with rice as that is how we eat Lemon Chicken traditionally in our household.  Yum yum!!

Next the Apple Pie Wontons.  This is still going to need some work, but they still came out tasty.  What you'll need.

• Premade wonton wrappers
• 1 Tbsp honey
• 1 Tbsp lemon juice
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• Pumpkin pie spice mix (to taste)
• 1 large apple
• Water

Got it?  Good.  Let's get to work then!

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Line baking sheet with tin foil, sprayed with olive oil.
3. Dice apple into tiny bits.
4. In a medium bowl, mix together the sugar, honey, spice, and lemon juice.
5. Add in the diced up apple, mixing til the apple bits are all coated.
6. Grab a wonton wrapper, scoop a small amount of apple mixture into center.  To seal, dip your finger in the water and run it along the edges of the wonton wrapper.  Pinch damp sides together.
7. Repeat til wrappers are full ( I got about 20 out of mine).
8. Place filled wontons in the oven.  

Now here is the part that needs work... timing.  I had mine in for about 25 minutes and the shells came out a bit harder than I would've liked.  Still, they were very tasty, especially with some caramel ice cream.  

Coming up this week...

I am going to attempt Eggplant Parmesan Quinoa Casserole, and a Cauliflower Mushroom Bake.  

It's All in the Details

It's always the little things that count most to me. Small gestures that give big rewards. This weekend I experienced just that.

My Saturday was full of fun and firsts.  It was that day that I took on one of my biggest challenges to date... a 5K road race. 3.2 miles of me moving my mostly lethargic ass through the streets of Salem. This has been something I have been training for, but still wasn't quite ready to run.







I ran a race called the Ladies Night Out Run with my friend Marina.  Main reason we ran it... chocolate, wine, and flowers at the end. Talk about a sweet reward! I won't get into the nitty gritty of the run, but there were a lot of things that threw me off, and I wasn't able to do a straight run of the course. However I pushed myself, only taking small walking breaks to catch my breathe. But Marina kept me going, acting as my amazing support system, and we finished the race together at 34 minutes. I have to say, that is quite a record for this kid! I'd be lying if I didn't say I was EXTREMELY proud of us for pushing through it all and kicking some ass... which was our own.

 After the run and fun, I rushed on home to get ready and head on out to Providence! I went down there for a date that I couldn't have been happier to have experienced... especially as I had no idea what the heck he had planned for us. All week long I had to deal with the taunting and teasing of an awesome date, that would remain a surprise til I got to Rhode Island.

The date began with us eating dinner at Lim's. What was so special about that? It was a place I had tried to eat at the first day I met him, but sad for me, the restaurant was closed. Luckily he has a good memory, and took me there so I could finally try out their "Incredible Hulk" sushi roll. It lived up to expectations, and was insanely tasty!

 Next, I was taken into the heart of the city for a major event that comes only every few weeks in the summer. Water Fire. An amazing display on the water of... well, fire! Tons of people, beautiful sights, some good/bad music, and some salsa dancing. We just walked along the full length a couple times, talking and enjoying the view. Truly beautiful, especially on such a gorgeous night.

After our alone time, we met up with a couple of his friends to keep the night on the town going full steam ahead. We began our group outing at a fantastic bar and restaurant called The Dorrance. All I can say is wow! This place was beautiful. A modern restaurant, making its home in the city's old Union Trust Building. Exquisite architecture graces every inch on the inside. So much detail etched into the marble walls, and tile ceilings. And the drinks... to die for! The bartenders are professionals, and each drink shows their work in all its glory.

But it wasn't all glitz and glam, we ended the night slumming it up at Providence's Fat Belly's Bar. Let me put it this way... when your beer glass contains the information of an attorney who specializes in DUI's, you know you are at a dive bar. All the same, it was a blast as the company kept the party going.

It was just a perfect day filled with many great memories. From the small little gestures that helped push me through my first race, to the small gesture of just remembering something so minute as a restaurant and a dish I was hoping to try.

Challenges

Life's full of them.  Some are easier than others.  Some we struggle with all of our lives.  But it's how we take those challenges on that shows the kind of person we are. 

My recent challenge... gaining all my weight back.  Okay, okay.  So I was bitching over the last year about losing 30 pounds.  Something most people, including myself, would kill to have happen.  It was the method in which I lost the weight though that left me unsatisfied with the results. 

So when I was eventually well again and began eating normally, I was ecstatic!  I was also determined to make sure I would remain at a healthy weight and workout regularly.  Thus comes my challenge.

My crazy schedule makes it difficult to do things most times.  For me, I am a night exerciser.  So not having a 24-hour gym near me requires that I wake early and go for runs or workout at home.  Neither of which leaves me feeling satisfied.  Hell... when your schedule leaves you wide awake until 4AM, you long for a 24-hour gym to release some of the adrenaline you gained during a jam-packed day of developing/breaking news.... and loathe not having one near so you must wake around 9:30 to get a proper workout in before "starting" your day.

So eventually my workouts wained... and the weight was gained.  Luckily, I have not reached my heaviest, having only gained back 18 of the 30 pounds I dropped.  However I refuse to go back to that.  So I opted to invest in myself, and it was so easy when the stars all aligned in my favor.

As I was feeling down on myself, Groupon started having deals on all the things I was wanting to help invest in myself.  First, health and fitness magazines.  Groupon had both Eating Well and Fitness on their specials list... so I had to get them.  You always need something to help you along the way, and I figured having magazines about what I really need to focus on would definitely be a benefit to my challenge.

Next, a food scale to help make sure I am not going overboard on portions.  I am terrible at judging portions.  This way, I know how much I am eating and can get a better idea of what certain portions of food look like, hopefully being able to do it all on my own in the future.

Then came the full body, digitial analyzer scale.  It is supposed to measure everything from water weight, bone density, to body fat percentage.  A must on my list as my old rinky-dink scale is never on target.  Following my dozens upon dozens of doctors appointments, I realized my scale needed constant adjustments.  So it was about time to get a better one.  Especially as this one got GREAT reviews when I researched it! 

That was followed by a guilty pleasure I just had to take on... pole dance fitness classes.  As I already run and do workouts at home, I figured if I allow myself a fun class to do every week, it would be a nice change from my typical routine.  Plus, the class will give me a much needed boost of self esteem and empowerment.

Finally, I rejoined Weight Watchers.  This was one I was debating for the past month.  However when I wasn't able to zip up my skinny jeans anymore, I figured it was about time.  I have done it before and I did well on it then, so I know that it can help me again to make sure I stay on the right track.  I also found a group on its website that is about nerds/geeks trying to lose weight together.  So now I have new friends facing the same challenges as me to talk to when I am feeling down, or just talk about the new season of Sherlock that isn't coming out for another year!  UGH!!

One positive thing I can talk about.  When I rejoined WW, it still held all of my old information from when I was on it three years ago.  My heart nearly sank when I saw that when I started initially... I weighed 170 pounds.  At present, I weigh 149.  So thinking of the drastic tranformation I have undergone to where I am now, I am glad that I didn't wait to take these steps at keeping my healthy weight.  I also felt better knowing that I am not that person anymore. 

My challenges have transformed me.  I take action.  I am bolder.  I am more open.  I take chances.  I am that girl who walks proud, and will continue to.  I know where I have been, and I now know where I want to be, both mentally and physically.

Nothing to Fear, but Fear Itself

This is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down....

Yes that's the beginning to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air... but no that is not what this posting is about.  This is about taking the leap.  Sucking it up, and telling fear to shove it.

I can tell you that in my life, I have always been the cautious friend.  I have never broken a bone, I have never been grounded, I have always been the voice of reason when people want to do something ridiculously stupid.  Yep, I'm THAT friend.

However, life is not amusing when you stand on the sidelines screaming at everyone to be careful.  Examples?  Damn right I have a few!  Let's get started...

The Journey

Growing up in Michigan was amazing.  Fishing in Lake Erie.  Summer trips to Cedar Point.  Countless county fairs.  Ice fishing with my brothers.  Pony rides in Elizabeth Park.  Whoa, sorry.  Totally fell into a nostalgia pit.  Anyway... long story short.  I love Michigan!!  But my life was missing something out there... most importantly... a full-time job.

My friend Megan had moved to Connecticut and soon after Massachusetts for her career.  Granted it wasn't initially her choice to go (THANKS PFIZER!), but that move sparked something in me.  Hearing of all the amazing things she was doing out there sounded awesome.  The amazing people.  The glorious adventures.  I decided then and there... I had to try it.

My leap though, took at least a year.  My cautionary brain kept telling me no.  Stay where it is safe.  Stay where you are loved.  Things will get better... eventually.  But I couldn't let my brain win.  I kept pushing through.  Through the tears and the fears, I finally left.  And if you haven't really noticed based on my blog... BEST DECISION EVER!!  That's leads us to the next story in my kicking fear in the ass stories...

The White Water

Living in Massachusetts has brought tons of exciting opportunities.  That included rafting.

Initially this was a trip my friends planned on going on without me.  Why?  Because I have a big fear of drowning, and well, you can die on rapids, there is tons of water, thus I let fear win that fight.  But my dear friend Carrie who had bought a pass for the trip was terribly sick and couldn't go.  Not wanting to let her money go to waste, she told me to take it.  At first, I couldn't.  My fear lingered and I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  After great debate, and Carrie's pleas... I finally took it.

The river we went on was the Pennobscot up in Maine.   A river with class 5 rapids.  That terrified me.  I thought that on the rapids we would work up to the class 5, allowing me to ease into the whole rafting experience.  That didn't happen.

The first rapid on the Pennobscot is a class 5!!!  The angry churning water, the rushing flow, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks.  Yeah... pretty terrifying!!  I actually started crying and had a mini panic attack.  I fought through though, especially as there was no turning back from there.

That trip, became the first of many!  Okay 2 only because time and money have gotten in the way, but I DID IT and I LOVED IT!!  In fact, the next time we went out, I chose to be one of the leaders on our raft.  I am dying to go again!

The Greater Challenge

This may sound lame, but the aforementioned title is actually about men.  Shut up... I'm lame.  However this is one of my greater fears.

I have always been fearful about men/relationships.  I never focused on the now and the fun, but the future and the what could happens.  Breaking up.  Cheating.  Me not being good enough.  Some of these fears had ground to stand on from previous experiences, but the rest were just all in my head.

It wasn't until recently through therapy and a tough time in my life that I learned I had some deep seated issues with myself.  The issues made me avoid men.  Avoid happiness.  Succumb to my fears.

So now I have worked through it.  Getting better everyday.  I have had more confidence when talking to men, even approaching them now.  Something I would never do before.  However I have since initiated conversations with men, been the aggressor per-say.  Even recently, I went as far as admitting that I liked a guy and asked them out on a date.  Self high five!!!

The Moral

Don't let fear rule you.  You will never know what could have been.  You will never feel the thrill of doing something adventurous.  You may miss out on something that could change your life forever.

Don't let that happen.  Don't let life and its amazing experiences pass you by.

I'm Living Everything I Want

You know it's funny how the littlest thing can make you look back at your life.  For me, that was a dream.  This dream felt more like a nightmare when I look back on it.  However it made me realize how much I have grown over the past year.

Let's discuss this dream.  In it, I was still with one of my ex's.  I was living here in Boston, had my job at Fox, had all my wonderful friends.  The nightmare part... he needed to move for a job, and I reluctantly chose to go with him.  The move though was immediate, and I had to drop my entire to go with him. 

Now I'm not saying I would never not do something like that if I were in love.  Of course sacrifices are made in relationships.  But in the dream I was devastated about having to leave everything I loved.  In fact, I ended up resenting my ex in the dream.

There was a ton more that happened... but it was the leaving Boston that hurt the most.  Having to tell my coworkers I was leaving, quitting the job I love more than life, leaving my happy apartment.  The emotions both while asleep and once I awoke were pretty intense about this.

I cannot fully express how much my life has improved since I came here.  Not just professionally, but personally.  I have become a strong, independent woman.  I no longer require the things I felt I needed from life before.  I especially am surprised at how I now see relationships. 

In the dream, I sacrificed my own personal happiness for someone else who didn't bother to consider how it hurt me.  Honestly, that's who I use to be.  I know if that situation happened in real life, I would have done that.  No longer is that the woman here at the keyboard.  Don't get me wrong though, all relationships require a sacrifice of some sort, but no longer will it always come at my expense as it has in the past.

**Insert my typical "I love my life" quote here**

What More Can a Girl Ask For?

Let's just say these past couple weeks have been spectacular.  From meeting some amazing new people, to just enjoying the simple everyday pleasures life has to offer with my amazing friends.

Just last night, my friend Alex hit me up at work asking if all of us were going to go to the BBC for drinks.  Alex had been given the day off and was looking for some late night fun.  I love the BBC, so I obviously said I was in!  I hit up the regulars and for a bit it didn't look like anyone was going to join.

I got to the bar after work and began the typical horsing around/bullshitting with my Ruskie, when all of a sudden in walks our coworker Bill.  Then after Bill it was Aron and Jeremy.  After them, Kevin!  After him, DREW!!  I was so shocked that so many people were up for the impromptu gathering after a long day at work.

And I know I say this often, but I seriously love my friends who I have met through work.  They are all such amazing individuals.  We all have different talents, interests, personalities... but when we get together it is simply a fantastic time!  We all "let our hair down" and joke and just not have a care in the world.  And some of the shit we talk about... HILARIOUS!!

Last night was even more fun because after the bar closed, Drew took out a Frisbee from his car and him, Alex and myself all began playing in the parking lot.  I also couldn't stop laughing at the fact Drew was shocked I could throw and catch a Frisbee .. silly men and their stereotypes.  Now I can admit I was pretty impressive as I was playing in heels.  Then we got serious, so the heels came off and I was running in my tights.  Yeah, I'm hardcore and cute.  Deal with it!  Oh did I mention I was wearing a skirt?  ;)

I can honestly say I am blessed and honored to have these people in my life.  So thankful to be working with the best of the best in news... but more thankful that I can call them all my friends.

Best Weekend Ever!

This weekend, full of firsts!  From going out to new restaurants, to trying new potato chip flavors... oh yeah, I DID IT ALL!

Let's begin with Friday.  I went over to Axel's as typical for a Friday and we barbecued.  The new thing I did on Friday though, tried a fabulous new flavor of potato chips.  BLT!! I felt this could go either way... be really awesome, or be pretty gross.  But hey, it was buy one get one free at CVS so I had to try.  To my surprise, they were really good.  You could seriously taste all the individual flavors of the sandwich.  It was pretty trippy, and also very tasty!  

#Summer

Saturday we went out to celebrate our friend Dani's birthday.  She chose an awesome restaurant called Trade near South Station for us to begin the festivities at.  This place was spectacular!  The atmosphere was chill, yet fun.  The service was great.  Our server was sweet and very accommodating.  She was also helpful when choosing dishes and was honest in her choices.  She didn't try to push anything expensive on us and was just cheerful and nice.  I also have to say for the price tag of my meal and drinks... it wasn't all that bad for all we got.  I got a pre-dinner drink called #Summer.  It was light, yet flavorful.  Almost tasted like pomegranate lemonade.  For dinner I had the lamb shank.  The meat was so tender I didn't need to use a knife to cut it.  For sides in came with a spicy pickled salad with fried chickpeas and crispy potatoes. With dinner our server suggested a red wine from Spain that had a hearty, earthy flavor that went great with my meal.  Plus, it wasn't the most expensive wine.  She actually chose one of the cheapest from me.  Have to say her honesty was great and really made the meal perfect.  And of course, as it was Dani's birthday, they brought her out a piece of chocolate cake that we couldn't find on the menu.  It was AMAZING!  It had two layers of chocolate cake/frosting, with a hazelnut wafer layer in the center.  I am honestly craving it as I write!

After dinner we all walked down to the Seaport to Legal Harborside.  We went up to the rooftop villa for some drinks.  The rooftop was pretty cool!  Very large bar, high top tables all on the inside, then two separate outdoor seating areas on each side of the indoor bar.  The atmosphere was really fun and the servers were tentative to those of us who went with the outdoor seating.  Though it was packed, we all still had room to walk around and mingle.  People wise, pretty eclectic mix.  Everyone from older couples, to fresh 20-somethings, to suits coming for an after work drink.  I got the strawberry sangria here.  Not bad, but not the best.  Actually reminded me of Boone's Farm.  So I wasn't too impressed.

Now for Sunday.  Sunday is actually the beginning of my work week.  I am fortunate enough to get out early though as I come in early to help write for the 6p newscast.  So after work I headed out to Quincy to hang with my friend Alex at a venue he has been telling me about for a while.  Ocean Club is an outdoor "experience" as best I can describe.  There are several large bars scattered all over this massive outdoor club.  Tons of VIP cabanas, a lounge area, mini pools, tons of crisp white sand and palm trees everywhere!  And the stage, oh my God the stage!  High up above the crowd so no matter where you are you can see the DJ and the screens that show awesome digital images that go with the music.  Alex and I were there to see a DJ called Eric Prydz.  Both him and the opening DJ were spectacular.  What I really loved though... being a Sunday, everyone who came out was strictly there for the music and a good time.  There was no drama, no jerks grabbing on you vying for attention from a female, all the people were nice and easy to talk to.  It was such a fantastic night!  Can't wait to get back there and dance some more.  :)

Don't judge me and my shaky video, I was totally dancing when I took this.

This One's for You...

From Ruby 5/19/13

I love my family.  I don't know if you guys have noticed that as a theme in my posts or not, but yeah, they are pretty awesome.  One person who is especially awesome in my family... my niece Ruby.  This one goes out to her, by special request.  :)

Ruby Taryn Marteney was born April 18th at 6:56 PM.   She weighed 8 lbs, 6 oz and was 22" long!  Being my first niece, she was completely a priceless treasure to me.

She is such a dear, sweet little soul.  She truly takes after her namesake, which was my grandmother.  Here are some silly and sweet stories about our girl.

4/18/06

When Ruby was only a few months old, I had the honor of getting to babysit her while the family went out.  The poor babe was suffering from a cold though and was in a terribly fussy mood.  Before everyone left, I was sitting in the TV room with her standing on my lap, attempting to get some sort of smile out of her.  I just couldn't stand seeing those sweet cheeks covered in tears anymore and knew if anyone could get her to smile, it would be Aunt Licia (yes that is spelled correctly as that is what all the kids call me).

Well, I got her to smile alright.  The bouncing on my lap loosened up all her congestion and she let out a big ole' sneeze on me!  Boogies went all over my shirt, her dress... I didn't think something so tiny could have such a massive amount of nose gold!  As I was sitting there kind of flippin' out, she just looked up at me and gave the biggest grin.  It was pure joy and relief visible right on her face... I couldn't help but laugh. 

More recently, Ruby came out to Boston with my family to bring me my stuff when I moved into my new apartment.  We took her to all the historic sites which she really enjoyed.  One thing I ought to tell you about my Ruby-Doo... she is not shy when it comes to talking to people.  She is a very friendly child and loves to chat it up.  Now that you know that, I can tell you she loved talking to all our guides, asking tons of questions everywhere we went!  So during our trek along the Freedom Trail, we stopped in the Old North Church so she could see where Paul Revere lit the torches to warn everyone of the approaching British Troops.  Well... at least that's how we all know the story.

Christmas 2012

After the tour guide was done talking, Ruby ran up to her to ask some more questions.  The most notable you ask? 

Ruby: "When was it that Sam Adams warned Boston that the Chinese were coming?"

I am not joking... it was EPIC!  We all burst out laughing.  I guess we may have confused her with all the large amounts of history we were teaching her.  Don't know how the Chinese got brought up... maybe because of our first meal in my new apartment?  No clue!

Then there is the uber sweet side of our precious Ruby.  As I said, she is a very caring soul like my grandmother.  My favorite example involves her baby sister Raegan.

Christmas 2012 with Ruby and Raegan

Ruby and Raegan share a room at my brother and sis's house.  Something she is not at all jealous about.  She LOVES her baby sis!  Guards her, takes care of her, plays with her.  She is just a fantastic big sister!  Well one night, my sister-in-law tells us how the two of them were supposed to be sleeping when Raegan started fussing in her crib.  Dani could hear it through the monitor and was about to get up and go check on her when she started to hear Ruby talking to Raegan.  She started sweetly shushing her, told her everything was alright because her sissy was there, and then went on to start singing to Raegan.  Too cute and such a big help to Dani!

Ever since she was born, this kid makes my heart melt daily!  She is my one and only Roobers... and I love her dearly.

Brant and Ruby
2006/2012

Childhood

This past Friday I spent the day at Castle Island with my bestest Axel.  It was the first time either of us had been and it was an exceptionally beautiful day.  Axel had the great idea of flying kites as the winds were perfect.

It was during this time that I started thinking of things from when I was a kid.  Days spent playing outside on the farm.

First, I had to enjoy the sights and sounds of the landing planes.  For those of you who are not familiar with the area, Castle Island is right next to Logan International Airport.  Furthermore, when I was growing up, our home was also near an airport.  The sound to me is almost comforting.  Strange I know, but I still can't sleep in total silence because I am so use to the noises from those planes flying over and the trains across the way going by.

It was while I was laying in the grass looking up as they flew over that I remembered a funny "not-so-true" fact I always believed in growing up.  I always thought that the exhaust coming from those planes was what made the clouds.  And as I laid there watching them swirl and dissipate, I could only dream that my imaginative ideas were true.



Next thought came while Axel and I were flying our kites.  After years of learnin' in the school, science has taught me aerodynamics and the truth of how things fly.  However little kid me... yeah not so much.  I remember believeing that kites could only fly if you ran with them.  You had to throw them in the air and run like hell or they wouldn't stay up in the air.

My reasoning behind this any of this... hell if I know.  But this wonderful day of fun brought up a ton of memories, as well as created some new ones.

Can't wait for more fun in the sun and flashbacks to my ridiculous childhood.

A Mother's Love

Mom and Dad's Wedding Day

They say pets provide unconditional love.  Though I highly agree with this statement... I also say moms provide us with that too.

This past weekend we celebrated Mother's Day.  That special day where you tell the woman who suffered through hours of labor, months of additional baggage carrying you around, and years of constant joy and pain to love, protect and cherish us mini-humans who resemble them.  I'm all about giving props to these women!  Don't believe many people would disagree either, because no matter what, that's the woman who brought you into this magnificent world... and you damn well better apreciate that.

I've told you about my mom in previous posts.  Becky is awesome!  She is so sweet, caring, loving, funny, gorgeous.  She is SuperMom to the MAX!  Mostly becasue she had to put up with us three kids.  Kudos Beck for not killing us.  Well at least Jay and Phil... I'm the good one.  ;)

My most recent story on how amazing she is comes in light of the Marathon Bombings. 

After the events of April 15th, my world was a bit shaken.  Screw a bit, I was a downright mess! 

Venice 2005

As I explained in "Let It Out", the bombing was just too close to home.  So was the inevitable takedown of the Tsarnaev Brothers... especially with Dzhokhar being found just 2 streets from my house.  Working in news made it difficult to avoid the constant reports of every... little... detail that was being found about these guys and their history. 

Eventually, it all became too much.  I would start crying for no reason.  Every night I would have nightmares involving bombs, losing my friends, and not being able to find a way out of the situation.  I wouldn't want to go to sleep, nor would I then want to wake as I was so exhausted.  I soon started doubting life again and didn't want to be here.  It was all just so overwhelming.

After one particularly bad night, I kept emailing mom trying to calm down.  During the back and forth, mom started saying that maybe for Mother's Day she could convince dad to let her gift be coming to see me.  I was totally down for that.  And before I knew it, she emailed me her flight info... she was flying in the very next day!

Newport 2013

She stayed with me for four days.  I took her to Newport to tour the mansions.  We went shopping (as we do every time we see each other), we cooked, we worked on a puzzle.  It was great.  Most importantly, we just enjoyed each others company.  I just needed my momma, and she knew it.

How many people can say their mom dropped everything to fly halfway across the country just to give them a hug?  I can!  That's why Becky is amazing!  Plus since she left, I haven't had a single nightmare.  Talk about Momma Magic!

Though she never wanted me to leave home, she was able to see how much I enjoy life here, which in turn made her happy.  And though I didn't want to leave home, I'm glad my family is still so supportive from so far away.

I love my family.  I love my mom.



Christmas 2012

As a mother's love is passed from one mom to the next... I wrote my mom, asking her to tell me what she loved about grandma.  Here's what she wrote:

There are so many memories of my mom that make me smile.

 

Mom would go out of her way to help others. I remember one Easter Sunday at Fort St. We were leaving the church and there was a homeless woman standing across the street. Mom went over to her and gave her $20. It was so touching to see the homeless woman's reaction when mom gave her the money. She thanked her over and over again.

 

Mom was a charter member of Heritage Hospitals "Pink Ladies". She was in charge of setting up the chapel in this new hospital. She picked out the tile, carpet, paint, pictures and furniture. When she was finished it was beautiful. She spent many years volunteering there and touching so many lives. After she died the hospital named the chapel after her. A very proud moment for our family.

 

I loved being with her. She taught me what being a family is all about. She was from a family of seven. I grew up with lots of aunts, uncles and cousins around all the time. We spent weekends at Aunt Dorothy's lake house singing around the bonfire, roasting marshmallows, playing games and listening to stories about their youth. Mom and Aunt Dorothy would sing "Keep Young & Beautiful". They sang this on the radio in Detroit when they were little girls. Every time they were together they sang this song. Even when mom was in her final stage of cancer in the hospital, Aunt Dorothy came to visit her and they sang "their" song one last time.

 

 

Anna

I guess you can say I was raised right by my family.  I say please, thank you, open doors for people... you know the usual niceties.  But there is one thing that has taken me forever to do, and I am finally doing it.  Writing a thank you letter to the family of a dear friend who passed away.

Her name was Anna and she died back in 2009.  She was one of my best friends through middle school and the beginning of high school.  Anna had skipped a grade and made it into the same gym class as me.  She was brilliant, caring, charismatic and had a huge heart.  We instantly clicked.

She was an only child and her parents always loved having me join them for family events.  Trips to Mackinac Island, Stratford in Canada for the Shakespeare Festival, the many Ba'hai dinners we attended.  It was Anna and her dad who introduced me to Pink Floyd thoroughly.  So much happiness was had!

As what sometimes happens in life though, we all change. 

Anna started hanging with other friends and started getting into trouble.  I decided that life wasn't for me and stuck with our group.  It got to the point where her family took her out of our school and moved her to a different school, hoping things would get better.  She did graduate and went off to college, but her troubled past stuck with her.

I tried being friends with her once more during college after running in to her in our hometown.  I took her to a bonfire with me, thinking it would be a nice relaxed night.  Instead, she found that some of the guys there could get her a fix, and off she went.  Little did I know that would be the last time I would see her.  Me, lying when I said goodbye.  Saying I would talk to her soon, but I wouldn't.  It wasn't a lifestyle I wanted to be involved in. 

It was that lifestyle that eventually took her life.  Whether it was accidental or on purpose, Anna died of an overdose.  She was only 25.

At her wake, her parents were overjoyed to see me.  It had been years and like I said, I was family to them.  Her father actually skipped the line of people waiting to talk to them and came straight over to me and gave me a hug.  Many of the photos at her wake also included me with them on their family trips.  It was heartbreaking to see, but wonderful to know that the feelings I had always held for them in my heart, were mutual.

So here we are.  Just days ago marked four years since her passing.

This letter as I said has been years in the making.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of Anna and her parents.  Movies, music, books... so many things remind me of them.  And this letter is one little thing that I have been wanting to do to let them know that they are loved.

If you know me, you know I am a VERY loving person.  I tell most everyone I love them, but when I say it, it's genuine.  If you've ever had me tell you "heart your face," you know it's true.

Love is a feeling that I can't help but want to share with people, and it's something everyone needs.  Whether it be sending a silly text, buying you a cheapo gag gift, bringing you your favorite candy, or making you a card with my usual construction paper and crayons... know it's truly from the heart and that I cherish you as a friend.

In life, I have learned to never take a day for granted.  I want the people I care about to know that they are loved, cherished, and make life better for me by letting me into theirs.

This is why I want to write to Anna's parents.  Though time has passed, they are still on my mind.  The memories they have left upon me are a guiding force in my life.  Even if they don't know it, they have changed my life for the better, and I heart them for that.

Though I miss you Anna, the memories you left continue to bring me much joy.

Thank you for being a part of my life.