Day 37/38/39/40

I apologize for my late blog posts.  Have to say with all the good still comes the bad, so I have shirked my resolution of posting.  I must strive though to continue on my journey of seeing the good every day.  So getting back on the wagon and updating you on the days past.

Day 37 was a Tuesday.

God do I love Tuesdays!!  This is the day my coworkers and I go to a bar down the way from work and just relax.  Today was extremely wonderful as two other coworkers came to the bar and joined us in the fun.  Thank god I am a nerd and post stuff to Facebook.  They saw where we all were and came and joined us after their shifts.  It was so much fun.  Siobhan and I also got up to sing tonight.  We rock the stage together!  We sang "Fuck You" by Cee-Lo.  It was such a crowded night too at the bar, but we made the crowd get up and sing along.  Such a blast.  I have met some amazing people while working at the station.  Truly blessed that they are just as wild and crazy as me.

Also... funny thing happened at work.  Somehow 6 of us ladies wore pink... totally not planned!  It was hilarious so we took a pic and posted it to Fox Boston's Facebook page.  Got tons of compliments.  My favorite was "Now I know why you guys are called FOX!"  It was awesome.  A coworker also told me I should be a model.  I don't think so, but it was a wonderful compliment.

I honestly didn't know I was that far away from the group. Lol!

Day 38 - Wednesday

Treats were going around like crazy today at work!!  I kept my wills about me though and only snagged one from our anchor Ock... A CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRY!!  How can you say no to one of those?!?!  It was amazing!  However I highly recommend not eating one whilst prompting.  Quite messy. :)

So tasty!!!

Day 39 - Thursday

Valentine's Day.  Deep depression.  Still can see the good in the day.

I have the most amazing, supportive friends.

Seriously... hands down... no debating it.

My coworker Leeza noticed how I was down and gave me very kind, uplifting words.  Same with my buddy Kevin... and Carrie... and Axel.  It is incredible to hear the same words from people, but sad when you don't believe them.  It's so inspiring to me when people see things in me that I can't even see in myself.  But when those people tell me these wonderful things, it makes me want to search for it more.  I have a long journey ahead, but I know if I am showing these things to people, that it must be in me... I just need to start believing in myself.

I am a wonderful person.  I have a big heart.  I care about people.  I am brave.  I am strong.  I am beautiful.  I have a fantastic job.  I am very well educated.  I am a catch.  I kick ass at video games.  I make awesome blanket forts. I can make people laugh.  I deserve to be loved.  I will find someone who will give me the love I deserve.

My friend Carrie sent me a very thoughtful email:

Hi Girlie! 

Just wanted to send my love to one of my favoritest people on this lovely valentine's day. I'm sending along a virtual hug and hope you have a great day!! 

I am so blessed and happy to have you as a friend- you are not only there for me when I need you, but you also are always around to have fun times and go on some fun adventures. You always have a smile on your face and you are such a great influence-- you put down everything to move here and have made yourself a wonderful life in Boston so fast! I heart you lots and hope this day brings you lots of happiness!
You don't need a guy to be loved- none of us do. Use today to think of all the friends and family and coworkers that you have and love and love you back. That is a true reflection of who you are. Anyone can get some guy to give them roses, but very few people can have dozens of good friends and family members that care about them so much.

She is a fantastic friend.  Heart your face "Gary!"  :)

Day 40 - Friday

Today I made a very difficult decision in order to help myself heal.  I thought I was stronger and could handle everything on my own, but I couldn't.  Even though this decision was painful and heartbreaking, it had to be done.  One day I hope I can return from here and be better, but only time will tell now.  

Once again, very thankful for my friends and family.  As I have been able to admit more to them and how I view myself and the world, I am learning that I have the most amazing support system.  It's hard to feel unloved when I have so much love all around me.  Makes me wonder how I could ever feel unwanted.  

Besides that, I went and got myself a massage and facial in Brookline.  Went to a place called Rosaline's that I got a Groupon for months back.  God was it fantastic!  I wish I could afford such lavish treats monthly.